Things that seem like a good idea at the time...
O.K, maybe these things
aren't such a good idea after all, but once that
moment's past, you've got to look back with admiration on the freshness and enthusiasm
you brought to them... That fervent belief that somehow,
somehow, this
frankly
bizarre course of action was the correct one to take.
A while back, when I was a young and typically
stupid student, I went on a suitably
raucous night out with some friends. On arriving home at my shared flat, I retired
to my extremely
small and
untidy box-room to
disrobe. Having done so, and
discarded my clothes where they fell, I suddenly decided that I had to leave my room
to retrieve my
boyfriend's most recent
letter from the hall.
Now, having only very recently removed my clothes, it would seem logical that I
would have little
difficulty in finding them again in order to advance once more
into the
male-occupied territory
which was our communal living space.
Unfortunately, due to my advanced stage of
drunkenness, I was unable to locate these, or any
other, clothes. And it was at
this point that it struck. Without a doubt one of the
most
beautiful moments of my life. For the first time, suddenly everything made
sense. I had a moment of total
clarity, where I knew exactly the right course
of action to take. From the heap of belongings on my floor, I plucked a Wm Low's plastic bag (defunct UK supermarket).
Taking this
flimsy receptacle of groceries, I punched three holes
into the bottom of the bag- one for my head, and one each for my arms. I then put this
new garment on, with the handles dangling by my hips like some form of plastic
love-handles,
and ventured out to retrieve my
letter.
All went well until,
when leaning precariously over (in my drunken state) to pick up
the letter, the outer door to my flat opened to admit my two
male flatmates and several of their
friends.
While they stood
rooted to the ground in dumbfounded amazement, I ran to the nearest
nearest
refuge (the bathroom) for shelter. Feeling suddenly
very
cold, I hid until my flatmates had retired to the living room in loud
confusion.
It was only while
shivering in the bathroom, with time to
reflect on the
wisdom of my brilliant
idea, that I began
to feel a sinking feeling that perhaps my beautiful moment of
clarity had been
misguided.
Needless to say, I received a fair amount of slagging from my flatmates, friends and
various total
strangers who heard the story. However, while I was
admittedly very
embarassed about the whole thing once I'd sobered
up, I still feel
nostalgic for that single moment in my life
when I knew
exactly what to do. I still remember that moment - and so do my flatmates!
Like I said, it seemed like a good idea at the time...