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Have you spent years trying and failing to understand what New Zealanders are saying?

By following these easy steps, you too can hold a conversation with a New Zealander. Tip - you'll need to sound these out, either in your mind or aloud.

What you hear and what it really means:

BETTING:
"Betting Gloves" are worn by betsmen in crucket.

BRIST:
Part of the human anatomy between the "nick" and the billy"

BUGGER:
As in "mine is bugger than yours".

DIMMER KRETZ:
Those who believe in democracy.

ERROR BUCK:
Language spoken in countries like "Surria", "E-Jupp" and Libinon

EKKA DYMOCKS:
University staff

GUESS:
Flammable vapour used in stoves.

SENDELS:
Thongs, open shoes

COLOUR:
Terminator, murderer.

CUSS:
Kiss

DUCK HID:
Term of abuse directed mainly at males.

PHAR LAP:
NZ's famous horse which was actually christened "PHILLIP".

ERROR ROUTE:
As in "Arnotts mulk error route buskets".

FITTER CHENEY:
A type of long flat pasta not to be confused with "rugger tony"

And finally, after a recent rugby international between our 2 great nations, some wag had written on the stadium wall:
"Australia Sucks".
The following day though, this had been amended to show the full score:
"Australia Sucks - New Zealand Nil"

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