The second episode of the first series of the BBC TV comedy I'm Alan Partridge.
This episode sees Alan rediscover his sexuality after his wife left him and also we see Alan's empire shrink with the closing of his production company.
It's Valentine's day and Alan is impressing the ladies by giving them all shop-soiled chocolate oranges. It is also the day that Alan has to downsize his production company and trade in his Rover 800 for a smaller car because the BBC refused a second series of his chat show. Given the choice of keeping the company going and driving a Mini Metro or sacking all the employees and only having to drop to a Rover 200, Alan shows his truly selfish side, saying "
I'm not driving a mini-metro."
Alan eventually manages to tell the truth and successfully sacks all his employees at Pear Tree Productions. He neglects to tell Jill (Alan's favourite) and takes her for a day out to an owl sanctuary and later to the Valentine’s dinner at the Travel Tavern in which he has stayed for the previous ten weeks.
After the dinner Alan and Jill engage in one of the most memorable sex scenes on television. The viewer can see nothing, but is privileged to Alan's running commentary: "
Let battle commence!" "
Do you like me doing that? Shall I do it more quickly or shall I maintain the same speed?" The mood is ruined for Alan when Jill smears chocolate mousse over his body and Alan accuses her of getting it on the valance.
Alan finally informs Jill of her dismissal when he mentions it in a dedication for her on his radio show.
www.alan-partridge.co.uk was used as a reference