i woke up on time today. i did hit the snooze button once, but i didn't wait it out. i hit snooze, then turned the alarm OFF. gasp. lately i knock down that baby eight or nine times before i stumble out of bed.

but it's not because i am feeling energetic or back to my old morning person self. it's because i wake up every morning completely drenched in sweat. my pajamas are soaked, my blankets are soaked. as soon as i get out from under the blankets, i am freezing cold because i am soaking wet.

it sucks. it makes me stink and i have to take a shower every morning before work without exception (i am an evening bath kind of person, by preference). i took a shower last night after martial arts practice. i should have thought ahead and waited until morning, but i was stinky(i got a new stripe last night!).

sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night and i absolutely have to change my pajamas and get a new blanket. it's quite uncomfortable. the worst part about it is feeling so cold. i hate being cold.

i talked to my doc about this and he says it's either a side effect from some medication or i am having seizures in my sleep. i don't think it's the latter. my boyfriend would notice if i was having seizures.

i had two blueberry muffins for breakfast as well as a cup of belgian chocolate nut coffee with hazlenut cinnamon cream. actually i've finished two cups and am working on a third. this stuff is addictive.

just outside of washington, dc in germantown maryland it is clear and blue and warm. i can't see any clouds. it's perfect bike riding weather. i'm going to do that when i get home from work. i am telling myself i will ride before i injest any drugs. perhaps i shouldn't be using drugs to motivate myself to exercise, but hey, whatever works.

oh oh oh! and i wanted to share my own little triumph. i've been feeling so gimpy lately that i've been afraid to go to martial arts practice... when i did go i was worried about trying and failing, so i wouldn't really try to hard to accomplish much of anything, or else i would find some dumb excuse as to why i couldn't try. then i realized that i looked stupider for not trying than i would for trying and failing. besides that, everyone else is too concerned about their own progress to really be too concerned with any little mess-up i might make. also, i'm b>good at fighting. i can kick like a demon, i can fly through the air in a perfect flying side-kick. it's like time stops. i can look around and see everything perfectly. left leg tucked perfectly under me. right leg out to the side, foot parallel to the ground, knee locked, butt clenched in, hands up ready to defend the face and chest, eyes locked on to the target. like something out of the matrix. people will remember my perfect flying side kick or moon kick/axe kick/tornado kick combination. they'll also remember when i beat them in a spar. i'm good, i don't know why i worry so much.
4:58PM - i have had such an absolutely perfect day. though physically uncomfortable at times, i got super model treatment today. professional photographers taking photos. "turn your head just a little", "smile", "look directly into the camera", "now smirk a bit". i wish i could give the details but i can't. but it put me in a fabulous mood. i had a big sword. that's the detail i'll give (and no, it's not some dorky SCA thing). wh00t wh00t. today rules.
Well, yesterday's meeting was maximally worthless.

The Big Kahuna mumbled and huffed, and basically said "Let the four designs be developed and see you in one week, and maybe we will decide".
So we are still there. Mr. Bar has begun being very very nice to me. I don't know if it is just a mood swing or if he has been told to. Rather Kafka like environment, or is Dilbertesque ? Possibly both.
Anyway, I am happily running on the Wheel of Oppression, as most of us are. I am a happy hamster in a sense.
Today it is relaxation. Reading WWW pages about qmail ... playing MP3's on other people machines to startle them ... lazily pondering how to configure a big fscking POP toaster ... the works.

And of course, the ethernal quest for the Big German/Japanese porn site.

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