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A phrase in the English language I always get a kick out of hearing.

"because that would make sense" is usually used as a sarcastic explanation as to why something that is sensible, logical, and good is not acted upon or implemented as policy, etc.

For example:

All those 300 or so Linux boxes are not behind a firewall because that would make just to much sense.

And of course, one can always add the f-word for more seasoning.

An alternative phrase could be:
... because that would be the right thing to do.

"Because that would make sense" is a phrase that is useful to have on hand at all times. Living in this exceedingly nonsensical world, you can't throw a metaphor without hitting a situation ripe with stupidity. Almost any Dilbert comic can be analyzed and summed up with this one sentence.

Anyone working for any large operation, whether it be a retail chain such as Best Buy, a supermarket chain like Meijer, a large corporation like Microsoft, or any Federal agency, will likely encounter moments when this phrase is indispensable. It is best used with a slight hint of sarcastic tone, but the majority of the flavor comes from dead-panning your delivery. You must be absolutely resolute in your seriousness.

Try as I might, I was unable to find the origin of this particular phrase. I do recall, however, the story of how it became ingrained in my vernacular.

Early in my employment with Best Buy, around early 1998, I had gained enough experience in my department to begin to move past blindly following orders, and questioning how things were done. I couldn't go a single shift without running into inefficiencies, nonsensical policies, and general absurdity. Slowly, unconsciously, a list of these things compiled in my head.

At one point or another, I was training a new employee, and he proceeded to ask me, "Why is the printing paper over 100 feet away from the printer aisle? Why don't they take the other office supplies, swap their positions, so the paper would be 10 feet away?"

And without thinking, I uttered the fateful words.

"Because that would make sense."

From that point on, anytime a person asked a question regarding the various inconsistencies of logic that were inseparable from the entity that was Best Buy, there were greeted with that simple response.

"Because that would make sense."

It became a mantra of sorts. Anytime you found yourself fed up with the blatant idiocy of the upper management, the poor placement of products, or your low rate of pay, and you began to ponder, "Why the hell haven't I quit yet?" there was only one valid response.

"Because that would make sense!"

"Because that would make sense."
"Because that would make sense."
"Because that would make sense."
"Because that would" -smack-

That's what my roommate Matt (to whom they are favorite words) would say shortly before I go crazy, and transform from my ordinary identity of generally sane, if somewhat distressable, guy into Rrargh Rarrargrharghh. The fact is, a bunch more things make sense than any one of us understand. I've spend most of my life (since I was five and wondered why oatmeal was so bland) trying to figure out these bits of nonsense, and I discovered that most of them do have some sense (such as when I was twenty-nine and saw that some people like bland). If they were constantly being explained to everyone who wondered we'd have no end of it, and if they were posted on signs next to the supermarket aisle or highway exit or office building or computer case or space program or television set or (especially) microwave oven, then life would turn into exposition, and as we all know or should, exposition is annoying, boring, aggravating and unaesthetic-ing.

Further, most of the reasons, once you get them uncovered, turn out to be antagonistic. Smart people knowledgeably making choices they know are good for them, bad for you. Maybe they moved the printer paper away from the printers because they were trying to push another brand that was hidden on a sale shelf a little closer. It turns out that your favorite senator voted against your favorite bill because he was using it as a concession for votes on some other piece of legislation he likes but you don't. Workmen merrily laying the groundwork for that new super-hyper-ultra-highway by your bedroom window, giving you a cheery wave of their hands as they go. Companies leaving out the purposeful misfeatures of their electronic products from their advertising so you'll end up buying upgrades and add-ons. The entire "razor blade" marketing philosophy that's given us printer ink refills that cost more than the printer. Anti CD-copying measures that make them impossible to play on computer players, and when you write to the company about them their reply reads, condensed: "So?"

Decades of reason have shown to me just how often this happens, and how the rules are bent in favor of those who do it, because if they weren't they wouldn't be. Sense seems to be failing us, so I'm pinning my hopes on nonsense. With my pogo stick, I now go forth to pester the local Wal-Mart drones until they chase me out. Wish me luck!

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