made by ConHUGECoTM

Bored? Here's a fun handy-dandy way to pass the time. Just get yourself a Brain Removal Kit at your local department store (Montgomery Ward) or grocery store (Food Lion). Only $29.99! Comes with wire w/ hook attached. Amaze your family and friends.


  1. Smash nose with a blunt instrument (e.g. rubber mallet, aluminum baseball bat, pet rock, etcetera)
  2. Remove shattered bone and cartilage bits with tweezers.
  3. Insert wire w/hook into nasal cavity. Push hook far inside your head until you are able to feel it touching your brain.
  4. Twist wire until hook catches your brain snugly.
  5. With a pair of pliers, grasp wire in right hand and clamp down on end.
  6. Violently pull wire out of nasal cavity. Your brain should come out with wire through nose.
  7. Sit there and stare at discarded brain dangling from hook, and remember that it once felt secure inside your skull.
  8. Repeat Step 7 until dead.

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