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We have cockroaches in our microwave.

No, not in the bit you put the food into- that would be disgusting! - but the LCD window where you see the time entered and all that jazz.

It took us ages to figure out how they got there- did the mother get in there and lay eggs? is there a secret passage I don't know about?- but we know now... those sneaky little guys get through the back, where there is a grill which is obviously insect friendly. More than 'friendly' as now they're all growing up, having family reunions and little inbred orgies and parties in there. Except for the ones we hear being electrocuted when we use the device, when there's a loud snapping and a little cockroach funeral not long after. (Three to four days after the death seems to be the acceptable time to hold the cockroach memorial service.)

And it's impossible to get them out. There's just no physical way to reach them with traps or chemicals. They're pretty much the bosses of our microwave and we have no choice but to sub-let it when we need to heat up one of our tasty treats.

Just charming, really.

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