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I want to tell you in the strongest terms something that you need to know about because of its importance.

When you are reading things on everything2 website you need to buy yourself a notebook or a Trapper Keeper to write down in black pen only the things you have learned on everything2 website. Then you can look at it later when you are in bed. Enough said.

There are facts here on this website and information that is kind of a head scratcher. These are things to write down. What I like to do when writing in a notebook or Trapper Keeper is to lick my fingers generously before turning a page so as to give myself a better grip on the page when turning it. I learned this in the 1970s (when America was great before).

I had a rough time in court yesterday and President Trump isn't taking my calls for a pardon. Hopefully my Slick Willy type lawyer will get me off the hook with legal shenanigans, but I have been told the bad man prosecutor (out to get me for some reason - I never did anything to him) has photos of me grinning from ear to ear while slamming the frail old man's head into the edge of the dumpster (causing his brain to shoot like a rocket out of his head).

If you want to volunteer to be a character witness at my trial, please contact my lawyer (Slick Willy type) at 844-GET-TITS. You know I'm a good man and can say so under oath.

My friends.

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