I weep daily for the multitude of pushovers that I encounter at work, and at play. Lost souls, full of potential, who let it all slip away simply because they lack the self-confidence to go after their own happiness. If only they would realize that there is a Phoenix locked up inside of them, screaming to be released so that it may ascend from the ashes of their miserable lives and carry them away into nirvana.

Of course I do realize that most of these clods have the brainpower of an Idaho potato, and need something other than intelligence to fall back on in order to make it through the day. Detroit Style can fill the void that brain cells forgot. Simply put, Detroit Style is the attitude that has helped myself and others successfully hide our inadequacies for years!

Here's how to pull it off, in five easy steps!

1. The 'Strut' is imperative. You can show off your Detroit Style from miles away by incorporating the 'Strut' into your normal walking routine. All you need to do is add a generous portion of attitude to your normal strut. If you do not already have a trademarked 'strut', this is the time to make one up. This is sure to set you apart from the crowd.

2. Dress for success! This is an impeccable sense of style that few possess. Either you have it or you don't. If you do not have this, then you are shit out of luck. If you do, and are not using it to its fullest potential, then you must recognize the err of your ways and engage in better dressing techniques.

3. Confidence and Attitude. "I don"t care what your Harvard education says; it's going to be THIS way..." People who rest on their 'hard earned' laurels are no match for the commensurate bullshitter. Talk your way past these kinds of people, and if all else fails, then fall back on your...........

4. ...........CHARM! A dashing grin and overwhelming charisma will certainly melt even the harshest of adversaries into a pile of mush, to be molded any way you choose. A little charm goes a long way. But, beware! Its powers must not be abused. True practitioners of Detroit Style frown upon blatant misuse of these special abilities. Use the power of the 'style' for good.

5. Safety in numbers! If you know of others that possess the same Detroit Style that you have mastered, it is advantageous to include them in your circle of influence. Now you are doubling, or even tripling your ability to get whatever the hell you want! Life can indeed be good when surrounded by as much Detroit Style as you can humanly stand!

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