That's it. I will take this no more.

Everywhere I go, people blurt out their opinions. They get violent about them, even. Inflatable sheep with hip wiggle. Inflatable sheep without hip wiggle. Everywhere I turn, people are imposing their thoughts, ideas, and yes, even philosophies on others. Don't walk. No smoking. Keep off lawn. Do not dispose of cigarettes in urinal, it makes them soggy and hard to smoke. Opinions and opining everywhere I go.

But that's not the problem.

Most of us can deal with these day-to-day telemarketers of philosophies. Lots of us have the common sense, the chutzpah, to just say no. To give the cold shoulder. To tell 'em to talk to the hand. We walk away, yea sometimes we run, but we cope. We smile and nod at the LDS missionaries. We acknowledge other people's methods of opening cans with steak knives.

Sometimes we accept your advice, your overbearing impositions. Sometimes we do get fries with that. Sometimes we don't. Regardless, we do it all with untwisted knickers and not so much as a homemade pipebomb placed under your car while you're returning from the ATM.

It's just that, every once in a while, I run into one of YOU people.

You know who you are. You put the metal spikes in the trees to maim the loggers. You wear white after Labor Day. You put ketchup on your eggs and mayonnaise on your fries and whenever anyone offers to correct the errant ways of your condiment selection process, you take that brief sliver of a moment to engage your calibrated, P.C. rant mode. You unleash a maelstrom of pent-up fury and rage on us innocent, well-adjusted bystanders, many of whom never asked to witness such ugly spectacles in the first place.

"Don't force your dietary guidelines on me!", you scream, "Don't you dare tell me which species I will and won't eat. I'm a free thinker. I have free will. My socks don't match. I'm going commando. You can't stop me, and I LIKE IT!"

Then you turn to us, with those wild, crazy eyes. You single one of us out, and with the fury of a thousand suns explain how you will not Just Do It. How we're pushing our Doing It philosophy on you. How we're oppressing you and repressing you and suppressing you. How we're constantly violating your Constitutional Rights, your Humanitarian Rights, your Rights of Way. You start demanding high-flow toilets, 8" floppy drives, removal of your passenger-side airbag, and the annexation of Canada. Forcing our NATO philosophy on you, indeed!

I've had it up to here. You can't see me, but I'm gesturing towards my neck. Scant millimeters below my chin! Why can't you simply ignore the rest of us, like the rest of us? Why, tell me, why can't you just stop forcing your not forcing one's philosophy on others philosophy on me?.

I say the rest of us band together to stomp out these miscreants. Who's with me?

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