Dream Log: July 17, 2002

a dream i had
or maybe just a fantasy

have you ever had the feeling that you were going to do something really stupid
i have
like when i want his lips to slowly creep up my neck
when i want his hand to linger just a little longer on mine
i know this is wrong
you don't have to point it out to me
but i still can’t help but think
what if
so here i sit
blushing over his tongue
and
wanting his words to wash over me like a heat wave
so that his accent would fall into my own
letting it mix and mingle
washing itself anew in the sweat that our two bodies produce
i know its stupid
but what if

This time I was in my room with three childhood and youth friends, Kim S, Nasu and Emu. It wasn't a room I had really ever owned but reminded a lot like the current one i.e. small, anonymous and messy. I was doing something on my computer when they arrived. Kim S was a bit distracted and Nasu wanted to go jogging with me. I hadn't yet run, so I agreed and turned off the computer and changed the running gear on. Emu was wondering, not aloud but I could see it from his eyes, why I didn't allow him to anything on the computer while we were running. The simple reason was that there was some personal stuff I didn't want anybody to see. Well, when asked I let him play some stupid little computer games but when we left I wasn't feeling that comfortable, suspecting Emu to nose around the files and folders.

Next I was with Kim S, chatting away on the topics of no particular interests. It became dark and I was ready to head home. However, Kim surprised me expressing his will to discuss about the more serious things. We have never really done it before because I haven't seen him for eight years. He said he was fed up with chitchat and asked how I was really doing. Well, I restated again that I hated work and tried to inhabit poor, bohemian lifestyle, making a virtue of the necessity. He asked if I had a girlfriend or alike. I nodded and asked if he was still with the girl he used to date back at vocational school. He wasn't and wasn't eager to talk about it. Anyway, we carried on the discussion mostly on sex but other aspects of life had their share too..

I am running through a black forest. A friend gives me four pills. They are all formed of clusters of tiny spheres, each about a half of a millimeter in diameter. Two of the pills, the mescaline I had asked for, are small and white. The other two are each the size of a grape, shaped like bunches of grapes, and are colored red, purple, and blue. These latter two pills fall apart in to their constituent tiny spheres and mix together in my hand. I tell my friend that I only want the mescaline pills, which are easy to pick out because they are white. Besides, I am suspicious of what the other pills may be.

I run through the woods from the Sisters. I ditch the mescaline because I do not want to get caught with it. They imprison me. I run around the forest during their meeting, singing anti-Christian songs to piss-off the Sisters. The henchmen of the Sisters chase me. I run in to a horse racing ring. The four henchmen are coming. I jump in to the forest. They bet the gangsters in the race that they can catch me. So the gangsters are chasing us now. We run and run.

The ocean asks for our help. It needs a certain crystal. We run, but the mescaline slows us down. We have to go back and try running without the mescaline, so it is faster. We run on the tops of incredibly tall waves. We get to the end of the world and throw the crystal to the dolphin who swims up to us. The other, fake crystals we put in to valuable looking cases and when the gangsters catch up we throw these crystals in to their mouths. The fake crystals make the gangsters rust.

The crystal that the dolphin took should stop the process that has been causing the ocean to turn in to gold. But the fish are revolting, since the ocean took them so close to destruction. We open a small door at the end of the world and lean half-way out, hoping for safety to return to the ocean. The dolphin we helped recognizes us. And, since he is the leader of the fish, we are spared.

---

NOTE: Please follow the hardlinks for possible symbol interpretations.

This dream begins with one of my real life roommates (who also is a coworker) and I preparing for a big roadtrip. Except that it's not really us two, rather some people who are supposed to be us but don't resemble us at all. Maybe some actors who are playing us in my dream. Anyways, we're getting ready for a roadtrip to an undefined destination. I think we were leaving from Massachusetts, and it was supposed to take us 5 days to reach our destination, so I'm guessing we were heading to the West Coast.
So we're packing all kinds of stuff, water, food, CDs, etc. into the back of some large metallic aqua colored Ford pickup. (I know of no such vehicle IRL) It has a covered truck bed, making it suitable for storing lots of stuff. Strangely enough it seems to have two rows of seats as we're taking a baby along with us. It is placed in its car seat in the front, with the other passenger riding in another seat further back. Apparently we weren't paying attention to the warnings not to put your babies in the front seat. There's no sense of the baby belonging to either of us, it's just something else we're bringing along on the roadtrip.
The other odd thing about this truck is that there seems to be nothing under the hood. Where the dashboard is usually opaque and solid, we can open doors set in it to access the hood compartment. In addition, there's a green glass brick (the kind used to build glass brick walls out of) set in the middle of the dashboard, so we can see that there is really no engine in front. This doesn't concern us though, so I guess there must have been an engine somewhere else in the vehicle.
Eventually we're done packing and we set off down the road. However we have to drive through Mexico at some point, and they start searching through all our stuff, checking to see if we're drug smugglers or carrying something else illegal. We're not, so we don't worry. They find a couple six packs of Coca-cola which they take for themselves. In addition they find a big jar of baby food, so they open it, pour off half for themselves, and put it back. We're a little alarmed by this, since we brought the coke for them to take (neither of us drink it) but we didn't expect them to take our babyfood. We'll just have to buy more. After they finished, and we drove away, I woke up.

Real life connections:
I currently live in Massachusetts, and commute daily with this roommate of mine. In addition we've taken a number of roadtrips (although none to the West Coast). I've been rebuilding an old Jeep I have, so that might explain the curious state of the pickup we were driving. I remember a part in the Cryptonomicon in which Randall Waterhouse is traveling into the interior of the Philippines and brings a large number of batteries along with him for the local patrols to take, as a way of smoothing their passage.

I dreamt I lay atop a burning pasture,
Kittens running after balls of wool,
A sacred stone unkempt beneath my light.
And evermore the light grew darker,
And I still don’t know what I was looking for.
There was no woman, no great love,
Just giant whirlwinds of passion,
Stealing the life, spinning me round.
There was no man to tell me to pack and go,
No man to beat me in to submission.
There were no humans whatsoever.
Just me, and the kittens,
Rolling around the earth.