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Ancient art of throwing small person as far as possible.

Is often played as a sport between burly chaps after a few drinks.

Dwarf tossing is banned in Florida, largely due to the lobbying efforts of the Little People of America, who complained that it was demeaning. A dwarf and entertainer, "Dave the Dwarf" has filed a law suit, claiming that not allowing him to be tossed, if he chooses to be, is discriminatory.

"This is serious," Flood said. "I don't want the government telling me what I can or cannot do. They assume (people with dwarfism) don't have a mind of their own."

And just remember, if given half the chance a dwarf would toss you and everyone you hold dear... if it weren't for their stumpy arms, I guess.
"Nobody tosses a dwarf!"
--Gimli, son of Gloin in the movie version of the book The Fellowship of the Ring.

The Fellowship is travelling through the mines of Moria, heading towards the Bridge of Khazad-Dûm, when they get a Balrog on their trail. A chase scene ensues. There is a perilous, Indiana Jones-like sequence with our heros racing down a crumbling stone staircase as the Balrog closes the distance behind them. A chasm opens in the staircase before them. Legolas jumps over, then helps Gandalf across. Boromir grabs Merry and Pippin and jumps over with them. Aragorn grabs Sam and tosses him across. He is about to do the same with Gimli the dwarf, but Gimli refuses, saying, "Nobody tosses a dwarf!" Gimli tries to jump the gap on his own and almost misses. Legolas grabs him by the beard to keep him from plunging into the abyss.

This line is nowhere to be found in the book written by J.R.R. Tolkien that the movie was based upon.


I like the movie version of The Fellowship of the Ring, but this one line bugs me. I'm not a Tolkein fanatic or purist. My objection has nothing to do with the sanctity of Tolkien's words or anything like that. This line is just too damned cute, that's all. Why would the screenwriter and director spend all that effort in creating a fantastical on-screen universe as whole as an egg, then destroy our suspension of disbelief just so they can give a sly little wink to the audience and get a cheap laugh out of it? It doesn't make sense to me.

Excuse me. I have to go grow myself a sense of humor now.

Dwarf tossing is on its way to being illegal up here in Ontario Canada. Bill 97, An Act To Ban Dwarf Tossing, aims to set a fine of up to $5000 (in our worthless Canuck currency), and/or up to six months in the gulag. The bill is attached.


Bill 97 2003
An Act to ban dwarf tossing

Her Majesty, by and with the advice and consent of the Legislative Assembly of the Province of Ontario, enacts as follows:

Dwarf tossing banned

1. (1) No person shall organize a dwarf tossing event or engage in dwarf tossing.

Offence

(2) A person who contravenes subsection (1) is guilty of an offence and on conviction is liable to a fine of not more than $5,000 or to imprisonment for a term of not more than six months, or to both.

Commencement

2. This Act comes into force on the day it receives Royal Assent.

Short title

3. The short title of this Act is the Dwarf Tossing Ban Act, 2003.


EXPLANATORY NOTE

The Bill bans dwarf tossing in Ontario and makes it an offence to engage in dwarf tossing.

You can see this insanity for yourself at http://www.ontla.on.ca/documents/Bills/37_Parliament/Session4/b097_e.htm

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