And so you have found us.
Please take a seat
... will you have a drink
Ah yes, of course, drinks can wait, let us get down to business
. You wish to know about the Factual Faction for the Freedom of Fine Facts
. Well there is not much to tell really... here is the official FAQ
to get you started:
1. What does The Faction do?
Now go! and node like the wind!
The Faction frees fine facts from feeling frowney. Frowney facts are felicitously functionless, festooned in fourty feet of familiarity, formula, frequency, and formality.
2. How does The Faction free fine facts from frowneyness?
We follow the teachings of our guru, Mary Poppins who once said "A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down in the most delightful way!" Here, the medicine represents the facts, while the sugar represents something unique - whether it be individual, icky, irregular, interesting, ironical, incredible, idiosyncratic, or humorous (Use of Thesauri superlatively encouraged).
3. How many members are in the Faction? Who are they? Are there regular meetings I must attend? How much does it cost? Is there a uniform? Must I own a monkey...eat soy...be a lesbian? Is The Faction real???
Sometimes, believe it or not, facts are not fun on their own. Take succorrhoea as an example; it is a mere definition for exessive secretion, but once you stick an M-noder or a god in there with a nice gentle insult - poof! you got yourself a funny yet factual fact.
It takes practice to know which nodes need a gentle nudge to become interesting and which are amazing right on their own. Many times when one is noding for numbers (hereforth to be known as "making us mostly bored"), they give not a thought to the reader - autonoding and mercilessly subjecting us to dry, crusty, peeling, scaly facts. Come noders! Take up the Jergens of style and flair and apply liberally as needed!
a lot, we aren't telling, no, nothing, pants optional, no, if you like, come as you are, no.
4. What are the rules of Factual Faction for the Freedom of Fine Facts?
There are only 2 rules of Factual Faction for the Freedom of Fine Facts.
1. Tell no one.
no wait I mean tell whoever you please
2. Keep your identity in the club a secret by noding bullshit now and then - but make it good.
in fact, this entire node would be bullshit if it weren't for this:
Grasshoppers Do Not Have Noses
They have small holes on the sides of their bodies called spiracles.
Each hole leads to a large tube called a trachea, which divides into small tubes, which in turn, divide into still smaller tubes that branch out to all the cells of the body. This system of tubes carries oxygen to the cells and takes away the carbon dioxide.
They smell with their antennae.
You have permission to put this text at the bottom of your Fine Fun Factual Facts:
Another boring factual node brought to you by the Factual Faction for the Freedom of Fine Facts. Join today!
Thank you to the freaky fact feller JerboaKolinowski for the three f-words that begged to be included in this write-up!