Day 5: In my dream I'm at the home of a Twitter friend. I can only see a few rooms at first. I walk into the kitchen, and see the third grade teacher's daughter in the living room. She's spilled strawberry yogurt on the floor, and I help scrub it out of the oatmeal colored carpet. Initially I had the impression that the home I was staying at wasn't that large, but as I wander through it, I'm amazed at how open and spacious it is. There's a sunken bedroom with three large beds that I can see through the white railings. Above that in the bedroom I'm observing this from are another set of beds, and a nice sized bathroom attached to it. Each bathroom I pass seems larger and more spacious than the one before it. As a I walk along, I notice that there is less furniture, and more space. Each room seems to have its own personality. The indoor patio area is modern rustic, with lots of bronze and earth tones. The bathroom there is a wide open mirrored room with a smaller shower area off to the side. Suddenly I'm in a basement area where the washer and dryer are located. They're shiny white, and in the same room is a large refrigerator. Overhead the lights are a blinding blue white.

We're late for whatever event we're supposed to be attending so I hurry down the hall realizing that this is the home of the third grade teacher who is very frugal in real life, and in my dream I'm a bit envious of the lavish space, but I'm also happy that she has such a nice home since I know she grew up very poor, and her family has always been super nice to mine. The staircase in front of me is impossibly steep, but I have to get up it so I grab onto the stairs before me, and the railing while talking to the woman next to me who is quite elderly. We make progress only to find that the staircase cascades us back down to the first floor. There's another bathroom across the hall so I head in there to find two of my aunts speaking. My younger aunt is asking my older aunt why she's upset, and my older aunt tells us that her mother has already passed, but I counter with the fact that I just saw her on the stairs so that can't be true, and they would have told us if she was near death instead of leaving it for us to discover on our own. The dream ends not long after that, and I'm left with the impression of an oddly unbalanced home where the kitchen and living room are standard sizes, and the rest of the house is enormous.

Objects: Kitchen, yogurt, carpeting, beds, wide open rooms, bathrooms, mirror, patio furniture, washer, dryer, fridge, staircase, hall, aunts.

I think the kitchen represents the utilitarian side of me. It used to be a very important room, but now it's less so. The yogurt in the carpeting is confusion about whether letting my kids have dairy is a good idea or not, and the daughter of the third grade teacher represents my bewilderment because she's just eating yogurt when I'm stern with her. The sunken bedroom is light and space, softness, and represents the kind, loving, and comforting side of me. The bathrooms are functional beauty, and that's a side of myself that I really like so I think they're there to encourage me to explore helping others with safe design that is still pretty and elegant is that's what the consumer wants. The washer, dryer, fridge, and bright lights are more functional beauty. They're telling me that I can have nice things, and not be afraid that I don't really deserve them because no one deserves anything in life, we have, or we don't have, and a poor self image is part of the reason I don't have more of these things. The staircase shows me that I might feel like I have this enormous task ahead of me, but really the answers might be waiting for me just across the hall. They're reminding me to avoid tunnel vision and be open to lateral movements, like a stop and smell the roses moment. My aunts are two sides of me, the worrier, and the one who is based more in reality. Overall the unbalance of the dream is a reflection of how I feel about my life right now. I'm focused on this very small area when there's an entire home I could be exploring.

The dream is telling me that it's okay to move out of my comfort zone, and I might feel like a child in these over sized rooms, but there's nothing to be afraid of, and I could have a hand in creating similar spaces where there's depth, richness, a lack of clutter, light, brilliance, joy, peace, and a balance of soft and hard as contrasted by the ultra soft bedding and the smooth hard marble and granite countertops. The dream shows me that I have many facets, and each of them is valuable, but the real me is a blend of them, and I shouldn't worry so much about any one part of my personality, or good and bad habits as some of these things are natural foils for each other. I almost had a sense that I'm supposed to be building things which is funny since I've never thought I would be good at that, or even very interested in it. It's the first memorable dream I've had in a while, and I'm happy because I think it means that I'm figuring out more about myself as a person, a wife, a mother, and how the things I can bring are needed, wanted, and appreciated. Today I am happy to be me, and I hope you're happy with who you are too.

With love,

Jess

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