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Yesterday I went back to meet with my nurse practitioner who told me that while my liver, kidneys, and pancreas seem to be working well, I have numerous vitamin and mineral deficiences. My calcium levels are high, my phosphorous levels are low, my thyroid panel came back with the absolute lowest numbers I could have while still remaining on the positive side of normal. My vitamin D levels are low, as are my zinc and magnesium. A multi-vitamin is part of my daily routine, I also take a beta-carotene supplement that contains zinc, it helps with absorption, I'm consuming enough, but as one company states on their packaging, it isn't what you take, it's what you absorb.

I'm no longer anemic which is good news, but the bad news is people still aren't sure what's wrong with me. I have a new protocol to follow, and I left feeling better about having a plan of which supplements to take. Typically I am very against medication of any kind, but I agreed to start taking some thyroid medication to see if that makes a difference. Saturday my family went to Madison together. I woke up in the middle of the night on Friday, and probably should have stayed at home on Saturday, but I love Madison, and I was looking forward to the outing so I went anyways.

Sunday my step-daughter had to work. I took my oldest daughter with me when I dropped her off. We went to two grocery stores together, and I really had a good time hanging out with her. I discovered a new brand of gluten free pasta that has flax seed meal ground into it. I don't really believe that this is a miracle food of any type, and I'd like my family to be eating better than it does, but at least I've been able to get the girls away from eating so much gluten free bread which is absurdly expensive, and contains potatoes which I am allergic to.

At the store, I stopped by a bin of DVD's. I wasn't planning on buying anything, but I found two that caught my eye, and thought that I could afford the seven dollar price tag. The first is a power yoga DVD that I absolutely love. I haven't been able to get through it yet, but the woman who leads it has a master's degree in psychology, and for me the intro where she explains her philosophy was exactly what I needed to hear that day. Subsequently the rest of the day went well, although I was sore from a mere twenty-two minutes of her video.

The other DVD is five ten minute pilates segments. At work I have a DVD that has five and ten minute classroom workouts for grade school children, so I know it doesn't take much time to get your heartrate up. I really liked the instructor, and I haven't finished that DVD either, but I have to listen to my body when it says that I need to stop what I'm doing. Yesterday I did my regular yoga DVD, although I was still sore, so I wasn't able to do it the way that I normally do which I'm chalking up to progress.

Last night the Dave Ramsey class was cancelled. I've picked up more hours at work, I'm still paying down my bills, and that's such a wonderful feeling even though I still have a long ways to go before I'm completely debt free. I can't remember if I wrote about the detox baths I've been taking, but they have become a part of my daily routine, and now I'm wondering how I lived without them now that I know they exist. For years I've used Epsom salts, with or without essential oils, but I didn't know how to put the two together to increase circulation.

My daughter has a set of flannel sheets that she rarely uses. I wrap myself in the sheet after my bath, and sometimes I can lie in bed for another half hour, still feeling the blood moving through my body. The first and second finger joints on my right hand have improved somewhat, although they are still quite painful. It's a pain to have to eat at home, I wish I was the type of person who could go out to a restaurant, eat a normal meal, and not get sick from it, but that's just not where I'm at right now.

Yesterday a girlfriend of mine told me that she has been having problems with neuropathy. I wanted to cry for her, because that burning stinging pain is typically a precursor of loss of protective sensation. Pain is a warning that something is wrong, and when you lose that, it is not a good thing. A girlfriend of mine lives down in Florida, I don't know her real well, but last night she asked if I was interested in meeting a woman that needs some help organizing things. To turn a lengthy story into a sentence, I ended up talking to this woman for over an hour. We're planning a face to face meeting, and I don't know where this is going, but I feel like I have a new friend.

I told my boss that I would like to work four days a week. We have some college kids who are looking for hours, so I'm hoping that my request will be granted. Working for two to three hours a day may not sound like much, but for now, I enjoy the kids, it gives me a bit of money I didn't have before, and I feel as if I'm useful and of service to others including my boss who really has an overloaded plate right now. Self care is something I've been working on, a goal of mine in therapy is becoming more assertive, and the phone call from my mom didn't go well last night, but I'm proud of myself for not letting it get to me as much as I would have previously.

This week, I don't have an appointment with my therapist, but next week I'll be taking my youngest daughter in to see the same therapist her sister visits. My oldest did a painting that she gave to my mom. Parental bias aside, I have children who are creative, and they need some help dealing with the issues we have at home. It's tense and turbulent at home, but therapy is giving us ways to express what we're feeling inside, and it's a lot of money, but I'm encouraged by the progress I've seen so far.

The other night some friends of mine were joking around on Twitter. I told them that I had a grownup moment because I was able to eat an apple with a blemish on it. I bought some reusable produce bags, they're polyester instead of cotton, but at least I won't be throwing so many plastic bags away each time I go to the store. A friend of mine from Twitter picked up on the apple comment. He turned my words into a phrase that I like, and I'm going to adopt this and incorporate it into my thoughts about others. I call it the Golden Apple Rule which states: 'Don't reject me because I'm bruised'.

I don't really like discussing the way I feel about a lot of things. Writing helps with that. Thanks for reading, thanks for being a part of my life if you're one of the people that leaves messages for me to open later. I see a lot of great fruit with a small mark or two, and I'm hoping that from now on, I won't reject people simply because the spot I happen to see at that time is darker than the flesh around it. Have a wonderful day, and if you can't do that, I hope you'll find a way to cope with whatever you happen to be dealing with at the time.

Take care,

jess

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