(For Jet-Poop)

"Houston we have a problem."

Houston took her mouth off Jenna Jameson's breast and said, "Jill, that gag is getting really old."

Jenna took the gag off her mouth and said, "I agree. Bring me a new gag."

Jill Kelly, who was directing the scene, gave them a new gag, saying, "Seriously, our gay camera man has just told me some very bad news."

The gay camera man was wearing his serious face. He said, "Last night I went to a gay disco with the gay boom boy. As we walked by the Evil Overlord's house, the gay boom boy listened in to the Evil Overlord using his gay boom. The Evil Overlord kidnapped Santa Claus, and will hold him until Boxing Day. If Santa does not deliver his presents on time to the billions of children in the world, the entire universe will implode."

"Why doesn't he just kill Santa?" said Sylvia Saint, who had appeared, ready for her triple lesbian scene with Chloe and Sunrise Adams.

(The reason that there are loads of hot women in this narrative and no men is that 1) This was a girl-only flick that Jill Kelly was directing and 2) this is my story, and hot lesbian sex it's going to be.)

Sylvia was wearing a cat suit, which showed off her perfect curves alluringly. Her 36C breasts were barely restrained by the tight latex, and you could see her perky nipples, which, in this type of story, are always erect. Naturally, Jill and Jenna immediately became aroused by Sylvia's sexy attire, and hot lesbian sex ensued. To read an explicit account of this lesbian sex scene, send $5.95 to Footprints c/o Sex Online Publishing. For only $5.95 you will get not only this uncensored scene, but thousands of others, including lesbian, straight and anal scenes. Join now.

The gay camera man said, "The Evil Overlord cannot kill Santa Claus in this dimension. If he does, Santa will simply be reincarnated in the other dimension. The only place that Santa can be killed is in the other dimension. But as long as Santa is in this dimension, he cannot deliver his presents."

Houston said, "We have to call the police."

The gay camera man said, "No way. This story has to have lots of lesbian sex, and if straight men become involved, things might develop into a non-lesbian sex scene, in which case our existence would end abruptly, meaning that the whole universe will eventually implode."

"What would actually happen if the universe imploded?" asked Chloe, wearing a nurse's uniform and stockings which accented her long legs.

The gay camera man said, "Here, take a look at this monitor. In it you can see a precise computer simulation of the universe imploding. Yes, it will be very bad."

Jenna said, "In that case, we must save the world."

Sunrise Adams stepped onto the set, wearing a very short skirt, no panties, and a T-shirt, which was already (and conveniently) wet. Yes, women often wear this kind of thing in real life, and the following also happens: Jill started kissing Sunrise's breast. Sylvia, Chloe and Houston stood next to each other and began fondling one another. "You go on," Jill said, "we'll be along shortly." And then Jill gasped, as Sunrise placed a finger tip on her ... To read this complete scene, please send $5.95 to Footprints c/o Sex Online Publishing. For only $5.95 you will get a selection of truly hardcore scenes, arranged by categories for your convenience. Join now.

"Fine," Jenna said, "I'll do it myself. Now all I need is a portal into the other dimension. But how? How?"

Jenna had no idea how she could open a portal into the other dimension, so she took out her vibrator, which always helped her think. Suddenly the vibrator fell out of her hand. The vibrations of the vibrator on the floor were exactly the wavelength needed to open up a portal to the other dimension (how lucky is THAT?!?!), and Jenna stepped in.

Jenna walked into a vast green empty field. Suddenly a man appeared. The man took a balloon out of his pants, blew it up and folded it into the shape of a doggy. The doggy folded the man up and put him somewhere that Jenna couldn't quite figure out. The doggy spoke, "How may I help you, Jenna?"

Jenna said, "I want to save Santa Claus."

"Impossible", said the balloon doggy. "The Evil Overlord has blocked access to Santa from this dimension (formerly known as the other dimension). He has put a spell on Santa, keeping him in the other dimension (formerly this dimension) until Boxing Day."

"Oh, no, what can we do?" Jenna asked.

"What do you know how to do?" asked the doggy.

"Well, as the number one porn star in the world, and the winner of many awards (including 3 AVN awards - Best New Starlet, Best Actress and Best Couples Sex Scene in my debut year), there is very little I don't know how to do. I can do missionary, oral, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, and various others, all featured on Footprints c/o Sex Online Publishing for only $5.95. By the way, doggy, did you know that my favorite position is Doggy Style?"

"It's just Regular Style to me," said the doggy, "and that's not what I mean. Now that Santa is gone, and unable to be rescued, somebody has to deliver his gifts, or else the universe will implode. Can you do all the things Santa does? You have to say "Ho ho ho", fit into tight places and fill stockings with toys."

"Well," said Jenna...



(wait for it)


"I can say "Oh oh oh", fit into stockings and fill my tight places with toys."

The doggy waited for you to finish groaning and said, "Close enough." It rubbed its paws together, and Santa's sleigh appeared, with all the reindeer in place and a dozen jolly elves. Jenna got in, and because time can be slowed down indefinitely in the other dimension, she was able to deliver all the presents on time to all the children in the world (so that's how it's done!)

The Evil Overlord was distraught when his plan to destroy the universe was thwarted. He was just about to kill Santa Claus, when his son came down the stairs and opened a big present that was waiting there. "Oh wow daddy, you got me the The Official GI Joe Transformers Pokemon Doll! I love you daddy."

And even though the Evil Overlord knew that it was really Jenna that got his son The Official GI Joe Transformers Pokemon Doll, his heart melted, and he hugged his son, and let Santa go, and everyone had a Happy Christmas.

(Except for the kids that Jenna got mixed up and instead of the presents they were supposed to get, gave them a copy of Where the Boys Aren't #16. They had a Really Happy Christmas).

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