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Often overlooked by the average middle class young adult as a source of quality goods, the ghetto can mean the difference between a dull weekend, or one full of intoxicated goodness. It can also mean robbery or arrest, especially for the average middle class young adult.

Here is a list of the various drugs to be bought in the ghetto, with useful slang names:

Here is a simple guide for getting the most out of your ghetto.

Firstly, you must have an automobile. Bring at least one other person with you, but leave room for an extra person for later. Make sure you have plenty of gas, and all your lights work.

Now you must consider the area and time of day. Avoid project-style apartments, as they tend to be hotbeds of real crime. Again, AVOID THE PROJECTS. Go at around dusk on the afternoons of Thursday through Saturday. Earlier in the week is not as good as people are more irritable or at church. You will know you are in the right place at the right time because there will be many people sitting out on their porches or walking around.

Now to get to the dirty work. Begin driving very slowly around a block where there is a particularly large number of people walking around. DO NOT ask anyone for anything, yet. If you have done it correctly, an individual or group may flag you down, or wait until you have stopped at a stop sign, and ask what you need. If after several blocks around nobody has inquired of you yet, find an individual or small group, preferably of older people, looking like they mean to do business, and ask for your desired product using popular slang(look at the list above) in a civil voice(don't shout). DO NOT use real names of drugs, or corny cliche names like 'dope,' or they will suspect you of being an undercover police officer.

There are two ways that this can proceed, depending on the dealer. The kind of dealer you really want is middle-aged, 30 or older. You know they are mature, and are more interested in business than anything else. Older dealers are also likely to have better product than younger ones.

If you are lucky enough to find an older dealer who is interested in business, you will want him to get in your car. Now, this dealer does not actually have any drugs - he merely knows where to find them, like a middle man. He will tell you the local prices, take your money, and tell you where to drop him off. Once he has been dropped off, do not park - go around the block and repeat until you see him again. It may be some time, do not be discouraged if you don't see him after a few minutes (this is why you needed gas in your car). If you are looking for more than one thing, or the particular source doesn't have any, you will take him to another place to get it. Once you are all done, make sure you tip your dealer even if he doesn't ask for a little for himself, and drop him off where he asks. Get his phone number for a reliable dealer in the future. If he has been dealing this long, then you know he will be for a long time to come, and will always be reliable.

If the only dealers you can find are young, then you have more of a dilemma. Young dealers are more likely to rob you at gunpoint, or get you very bad deals on your product. Generally they also carry drugs on their person. If they do, let them in the car, do not show them any money, and ask how much your desired quantity of product is. Remember to keep moving, go around the block until you are done. In this case, it is best to have someone else with you who has the money, and possibly a firearm. Take out only the cash amount the dealer specifies, and make the exchange in the car, and then drop the dealer off where they ask. In this case, it is very easy to be ripped off. Unless you have a firearm or other muscle in the car with you, it is not a good idea to dispute quantity or quality - either refuse it(when you refuse it, say you don't have enough money unless it's a trifling amount), or take it, and accept the loss. The only rule is be careful and if they do pull a gun on you, be calm and give them what they want. It is better than getting shot.

Now that you have your shit, it is basically smooth sailing - but you can still get into trouble. Do not check your product until you get to a safe place. Cops may follow your suspicious activity, and pull you over; you do not want to have any coke or weed laying out on a scale when the officer walks up to your window. Many people get paranoid during or after a drug deal in the ghetto. The only advice there is, is to stay calm(don't panic). Cops can smell fear.

Now go forth, as you can purchase drugs in any American city, a skill which will be much envied by your peers.

The above writeup properly describes how to find a dealer in the ghetto. Usually there is only one or two streets in a city where prostitutes and drugs can be purchased easily. Cops will sometimes interfere minimally with this street and hookers and drug dealers will stay put in this area. Drive real slow, look around for people. Cruise the same street three times, you'll be suprised that sometimes someone will show up the third time.

NOW, THERE ARE SEVERAL VERY BAD TIPS IN THE ABOVE WRITEUP. Firstly: NEVER EVER give your money to someone in advance. Even if you know them. I have been purchasing drugs for years and this is a lesson I have learned the hard way about twenty times. NEVER EVER! You give your money to someone you pick up on the street and take them somewhere and drive around while they run in and get the goods, I have news for you: they ain't comming back 90% of the time.

It is a very bad idea to go cruising for drugs. I must remind you of that. Many men who deal on the street really don't give a fuck. They will sell you fake pot, incense for opium or hash, baby powder for cocaine, tar for heroin. You're just a honky driving his car around, he's got to worry about how to raise the $50 rent for his subsidized housing. How is he going to do that when he's hopelessly addicted to cocaine. Really, the majority of people who deal on the street live very different lives than you and if there is one lesson I have learned in life it is that we do not all hail from the same tribe.

Any true drug dealer will hand you the goods and allow you to examine them first. If you agree to buy them put the drugs in your pocket first then scoop out the money.

The very best way to get drugs is to adopt an alternative lifestyle and be real. Grow some dreadlocks. Or wear a hemp necklace. Network a little. Grow your own. Don't go looking for trouble on the streets.

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