display | more...
How to form a High School Band

I'm sure that there are so many people out there who formed a band in high school. Presumably, it didn't go too well, after five months you gave up due to "musical differences". Of course, that simply means you spent too long thinking about catchy song names and cool band names, but you didn't spend enough time writing songs. Well, I can help you... er, repeat that character enhancing experience, and to do this, you just need to follow the following steps:

Step One: Get a bunch of mates who can just about play some instruments. Talent is not necessary, since some people may think that you are selling out if you have any. You will need a drummer, a bassist, a guitarist and a vocalist.

Your drummer needs to have at least two weeks of experience and the ability to do the same drum beat over and over again.

The bassist doesn't need any experience, he/she doesn't even need to have picked up a bass before. So long as people think he/she can play, it's all gonna be okay.

The guitarist needs to have some talent, but only enough to play four power chords repetedly. No solos are necessary. ALTERNATIVELY, the guitarist can be insanely talented, but such a big-headed bastard that he/she never stops soloing - prompting the rest of the band to yank out his lead, mute the fretboard or kick him in the teeth.

The vocalist needs to be more big-headed than everyone else put together, and he/she will be the promoter of the band. Promotion generally involves telling some of his/her mates to turn up at some of their practises, and the vocalist must insist upon managing everything to do with the band ,including - but not limited to - rehersal times (once or twice every two weeks at their drummer's house), lyrics (that will never get done, and they claim that they never had enough time to do them), style of music (and there will be NO alterations to the srtict formula), music that they will actually play (covers of the vocalist's favourite bands), and numerous other things.

Step Two: Set up a practise room. This is generally down at your drummer's house, although it can change to a practise room after a month or two because the drummer's parents are so pissed off that they don't allow the band in their house. The room must have rubbish accoustics and not really see much attention from the band because of commitments to school.

Step Three: Arrange practising times. Practise makes perfect, but you don't want to be perfect. Or you do but you will never achieve it. Either way, other commitments will get in the way, so practise twice every few weeks in some sort of room and only play covers.

Step Four: Get a gig ready. Normally, this would be at some form of School concert or assembly, so the only people watching are school kids and parents. They always clap, so you can easily call it a success when you do it.

Step Five: Get playing. You should argue for ages on what songs you should play, and eventually end up practising one song that the vocalist likes before getting kicked out of the room you're practising in. The end result would be fairly dodgey, either out of time, out of tune, or both. But you will all say "it rocked" because it was you who was playing it.

Step Six: Re-arrange your line-up. The line-up must change because it keeps you fresh, and you can't stick with one thing for more than two months. It ensures that you have a different sound for your next gig (School concert) and is a convenient way to get back at the band mate who once forgot a rehersal three weeks back. It keeps interest up in the school about your band, and it shows lack of commitment and gets eggs thrown at the kicked band mate.

Step Seven: Get some posters done, get a name, all of that stuff. The posters would be printed on your mate's printer, and you should print enough to completely drain the ink levels from the printer. The band name should be controversial and eye-catching, and must be catchy. Much time should be spent over this name, because it is about the only thing that you can do.

Step Eight: Break up. You knew it was going to happen; you go to college, mates go to a different school, drummer caught in bed with the vocalist, whatever can disrupt the flow of the band will make it crumble under it's own ego and arrogance. You may say to others that it was due to musical differences or other commitments, but you really just got onto eachother's nerves.

And now I hope you know how to create a high school band. Credit goes to, uh, me and the many high school bands that form and disintegrate within months.

Oh yeah, and congratulations to all high school bands that actually made it.

Log in or register to write something here or to contact authors.