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Since I've gotten good feedback on my guide on how to wash your penis, I thought I'd try my helping hand at another body part on that general area, the rectum. Dangerous work, that, so be ready. For this very delicate task. You will need a pair of cleaning gloves, a scuba mask, a lantern, a bucket, towels and plenty of soap. Neatly trimmed fingernails are a must, as well.

First wash around the backsides area, generally. Then, put on the scuba mask, put on the gloves, soap them up, and carefully insert your forefinger into your anus. Push it in, all the way, and work it around until you are comfortably sure that it is loose enough to fit a second finger; then a third, then a fourth, then gently, and very slowly, ease in your whole hand. Form your hand into an elongated cup shape and then begin steadily sliding your other hand into the groove of the cup. Once both hands are completely in, slowly push them forward until you are in just up to the elbows. Clasp your hands together and use this leverage to push you elbows apart until you are able to slide your left foot in between them, big toe first. Using your elbows to push on the sides and your left foot to push against the top, create enough space to squeeze your right foot in as well. Now that both hands and both feet are in, simply push your legs in just past the knees, then bend your legs to hold them in place.

Lean back as far as you can, until you can feel the top of your head between your knees. Since you are already in up to your elbows, at this point you should be well positioned to push your head and shoulders, and entire upper body, into your rectum. Using one arm and both legs to hold your rectum open, reach out with your other arm and bring inside the bucket, towels, soap, and lantern. The lantern should provide light for you to see well enough to thoroughly wash the entire interior of your rectum with the soap and towels. If necessary, bring in a ladder to reach high points, including any shelving. If it's an especially big job, have a friend come in and help out. Sure, there are professional services you can call who'll send a team in to do this job for you, but why spend the money when you can do it yourself? Lastly, vacuum the carpet, making sure to lift any furniture to vacuum beneath it. Now that your rectum is completely clean, you can invite some friends to come in to sit down with you, relax, kick back, and watch some television. Or, hey, throw a block party in there!!

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