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There were times when jealousy was an issue, of course. Times when he smiled so nicely at her, or talked for hours to him, or did wild favors for anybody, because that's how he is. And I used to frown, or pout, or show some nipple--whatever it took to get him back in my arms.

....where he quickly grew stale, to my shock and terror. Even his skin started to feel like plastic to my disturbed mind as he rotted slowly in my lap, dying like a man but not living like one, not being everything he could be--gasp--if it weren't for me.

So I had to let him out, had to bite the bullet and watch those smiles, even when the women smiled back so damn obviously; but I kept quiet. I spent hours, days, even a few months without him, knowing all the time that his mind, my favorite room in the world, was being used by other people. It was like having strangers sleep in your bed. But he exploded with life from there, and the smiles I recieved were a hundred times sweeter recycled. The more he asked to go out, the more I let him, and the happier and more eagerly he came home.

My mother asked me one day how I could stand sharing him with anybody and everything that came along like that. I smiled. "I'm not sharing him," I laughed. "I'm showing him off."

How can one possibly be expected, nay, commanded by morality and reason, to deny one's most beloved person a pleasure for the purely selfish reason that it doesn't involve oneself?

Why should I be jealous? What is it that is detracted from my husband if he has sex with another woman? Is he now a different person? Has he changed physically or emotionally? Had he given away a bit of love that can now never be mine?

I am incapable of jealousy on purely sexual grounds. I can, very occasionally, be jealous of my loved ones' time, of their affection - but of their bodies? What reason on earth do I have to be that?

There's a remarkably long-standing notion in Western society that says -- get this! -- sexual relations between a husband and wife should be exclusive. This notion tends to carry over to boyfriend/girlfriend and SO relationships, even though they're really nothing like a marriage (in the sense that there's no spoken commitment or vow of permanence involved).

So why isn't this always the case? Some people are voyeurs and enjoy watching other people having sex in front of them. Some people like imagining they're that other guy or other girl and watching "themselves" having sex from a third person perspective. Some people just like getting to live out their MMF and MFF fantasies.

To these or any other similar ends, some people enjoy sharing their SO with another man or woman (or both). If you don't, make sure you're clear on that in the beginning. It may help make sure you're not surprised by your SO suggesting it later on after the novelty of sex with you has started to wear thin.

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