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I'll tell everyone you're a mighty man.

I'll tell everyone how you saved me from bunch of muggers.

I'll tell everyone how you swam the English Channel and wrestled a shark, and then saved me from a bunch of muggers.

I'll tell everyone that you stopped a train with your bare hands just before it fell through the hole in the bridge, and then you swam the English Channel and wrestled a shark and then saved me from a bunch of muggers.

I'll say that you won the Tour De France with two flat tires, then stopped a train with your bare hands, then swam the English Channel, and wrestled a shark, and then saved me from five hundred muggers --

And you stand ten feet tall and can eat 20 chickens in a sitting, and you punched a bear in the face, and you know the world's greatest joke that can never be told, and you made a working helicopter out of three pieces of string, two beer cans and a cell-phone battery, and you can breathe in space, and you can count to infinity, and you know the last digit of pi --

And you sold your soul to Rock N' Roll in excahnge for a packet of cigarettes and a Desert Eagle, and when the going gets tough, there's a gleam in your eye, and you've spit in the wind and tugged on Superman's cape and you've even gone up against Charles Nelson Reilley with only a bruise to show it -- 

And you used to cut trees down forty at a time, and you managed to beat the steam drill, and you wrestled a gator and a comet at the same time, 

And Chuck Norris hides when he knows you're in town.

Now, you ask, why am I doing all this? Why boast of your might? Simple.

All of this will cover up your real personality,

Which isn't worth remembering.

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