When the newspaper lays scattered on the front step in the morning, I resign myself to picking up the pieces. I am bound to civilized man's duty: the creation of order from chaos. But, sometimes you have to make a mess before you can clean up. A big mess. You can't make a utopia without cracking a few continents.

In a world without larger than life heroes, I wouldn't even have to be that good. A big super-criminal fish in an empty pond, such as it is. Most villains would kill for so ripe a plum. I picture crushing the globe in my garishly colored glove like rotten fruit. The rolling laughter in my head washes over the human sheep on the bus. In my mind, I have already shattered their puny society.

The evening news seems to mock me. Fools dance in mockery of my godlike intelligence. Politicians roll like vermin across verdant fields. They would dry up and blow away in face of a simple orbital laser. What can minds squabbling over budgets and public opinion do in the face of building sized mutant monsters? A run of the mill army of demonic ninjas would make short work the puffed up peacocks preening before me. I recline on my throne, dreaming of the terror I could sow. Can't they see? I can crush them like bugs! BUGS!

I slave for corporate masters while my mind leads armies of atomic supermen to stunning victories across the globe. I burn for a worthy foe. As I wait in cafeteria line, I slay those who delay me with a casual glance. I seduce the secretary in the lobby with my boundless intellect and dark criminal allure. I am a master of all men. A Titan upon the Earth. The power of a thousand stars is trapped within my skull. I can give them all a paradise, if only they would submit. Just bow before your new god. It all makes sense to me. The doctor says that’s when its time to take the medicine. Chemical chains for my lightning fast mind? My foes would like that. Soon. Soon I'll show them all.

All for want of a death ray. But I'm working on that.

I have to fight the urge to become a superhero? Dude, thats just sick.

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