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But my wheelchair already labels me as a retard strung-out on prescription opiates. I can't let the Timmy fans down! What gives me the right to shrug off my responsibilities as the token cripple when I'm at a party?! They need me drunk! And, ya know what?... how often do we really get a chance to know the floor as intimately as we should?

I am walking impaired (see: I'm in a wheelchair), and I'd like to raise a quick point: If you are already walking impaired, ignore the title of this e2node and consume as much contraban as you feel like as there is very little anyone (see: the police) can do to stop you.

In Canada (and I would hope other countries) disabled persons can receive what is known as a Drivers License* for persons with Medical Disability - this is by far the coolest thing in the world anyone could receive. It's basically a standard drivers license that’s been tweaked - it basically gives you permission to say "no" to a police officer if he asks you to "walk a straight line", "touch your nose with your finger", or even "step out of the car".

The reason for these licenses is a very logical one; disabled persons are just that persons, and persons of authority (eg: police) should not force persons with disabilities to do things that they are not reasonably capable of doing.

Here are some examples:
  1. If John Doe has a neuromuscular disorder that causes him to shake and twitch asking him to touch the tip of his nose is not a reasonable task to test his competency.
  2. If Bill White has a respiratory problem asking him to take a Breathalyzer test is not a reasonable test to determine his true blood alcohol level.
Now lets get technical on why no one (eg: the police) can do really anything to stop you.

Everyone is assumed capable and competent unless proven otherwise (it's one of the few reverse onuses in the law system). However, because the specialized drivers license is vague in the issues of disability it covers (eg: it doesn’t say "they can do this, this and this" - it just a simple "MD" marking) a police officer can only hope the disabled driver is truthful when they ask in what way they are disabled. If the disabled persons describes a disability that is all encompassing of tests that could be used to check competency (eg: perhaps the disabled person lied ;-)), the police officer will usually assume it to be truth, as if they think it's a lie and they are later proven to be wrong the police officer could be slapped around with a trout-sized lawsuit.

Basically put: You can do anything, lie if needed, and thanks to a little drivers license with a little mark for disabled persons pull it off. It's one of the perks of being disabled - but don’t abuse it though as you might spoil it for the rest of us ;-).

PS: Just a side note; I was once asked if driving an electric wheelchair under the influence of alcohol is considered drinking and driving - the answer is "no", as an electric wheelchair is considered an extension of the body.

* = A drivers license is only one possibility and the possibility I chose (as well as a hanger), many persons with disabilities just have a hanger or sticker on there car but all three are as admissible as the other in the eyes of the law.

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