In my mind this is a far superior song to those already listed in this node. It first appeared on the 1976 'Derek and Clive (Live)' album, Derek and Clive being the filthier than usual alter-egos of Peter Cook and Dudley Moore, and is sung in the style of a hymn

Derek: (plays piano and sings:)
As I was walking down the street one day
I saw a house on fire
There was man, shouting and screaming at an upper-storey window
To the crowd that was gathered there below
For he was so afraid

Jump! You fucker, jump!
Jump into this here blanket what we are holding
And you will be all right
He jumped, hit the deck, broke his fucking neck -
There was no blanket

Laugh?! We nearly shat!
We had not laughed so much since Grandma died
Or Auntie Mabel caught her left tit in the mangle
We are miserable sinners
Fi-i-ilthy fuckers


A jigsaw piece soulless and sorry,
I fall from defeated or frustrated hands
Until my methods like some gratifying static defy gravity
or everything it commands
Levitating over crocodiles and chased by nightmares
through those old and rusting corridors
built by communists and brandished by crows
before being bolstered by hardware stores
My dreaming self is feverishly praying to and nudging at the sides of
His melancholic metronomes, apathetic alarm clocks and to the noise
from my neighbor’s stereo
No safety nets here, just her coronets -
she is no country for cracked or cracking bones
Or offsets for counter-balancing kings
who are thrown off of their thorny thrones
I have cigarettes to keep me warm, and my questions
that light up the summer night sky
There’s competition here too, its an Olympiad for junkies
and when they “jump” one wonders how high
I’m content here in my contempt for the crass and the commonplace, 
words that you stole
You can contemplate, connive, convince or confuse but
can you clone the numbness of my rigmarole?

Jump (?), n. [Cf. F. jupe a long petticoat, a skirt. Cf. Juppon.] (a)

A kind of loose jacket for men.

(b) pl.

A bodice worn instead of stays by women in the 18th century.


© Webster 1913.

Jump, v. i. [imp. & p. p. Jumped (?); p. pr. & vb. n. Jumping.] [Akin to OD. gumpen, dial. G. gumpen, jumpen.]


To spring free from the ground by the muscular action of the feet and legs; to project one's self through the air; to spring; to bound; to leap.

Not the worst of the three but jumps twelve foot and a half by the square. Shak.


To move as if by jumping; to bounce; to jolt.

"The jumping chariots."

Nahum iii. 2.

A flock of geese jump down together. Dryden.


To coincide; to agree; to accord; to tally; -- followed by with.

"It jumps with my humor."


To jump at, to spring to; hence, fig., to accept suddenly or eagerly; as, a fish jumps at a bait; to jump at a chance.


© Webster 1913.

Jump (?), v. t.


To pass by a spring or leap; to overleap; as, to jump a stream.


To cause to jump; as, he jumped his horse across the ditch.


To expose to danger; to risk; to hazard.


To jump a body with a dangerous physic. Shak.

4. Smithwork (a)

To join by a butt weld.


To thicken or enlarge by endwise blows; to upset.

5. Quarrying

To bore with a jumper.

To jump a claim, to enter upon and take possession of land to which another has acquired a claim by prior entry and occupation. [Western U. S. & Australia] See Claim, n., 3. -- To jump one's bail, to abscond while at liberty under bail bonds. [Slang, U. S.]


© Webster 1913.

Jump, n.


The act of jumping; a leap; a spring; a bound.

"To advance by jumps."



An effort; an attempt; a venture.


Our fortune lies Upon thisjump. Shak.


The space traversed by a leap.

4. Mining

A dislocation in a stratum; a fault.

5. Arch.

An abrupt interruption of level in a piece of brickwork or masonry.

From the jump, from the start or beginning. [Colloq.] -- Jump joint. (a) A butt joint. (b) A flush joint, as of plank in carvel-built vessels. -- Jump seat. (a) A movable carriage seat. (b) A carriage constructed with a seat which may be shifted so as to make room for second or extra seat. Also used adjectively; as, a jump-seat wagon.


© Webster 1913.

Jump, a.

Nice; exact; matched; fitting; precise.

[Obs.] "Jump names."

B. Jonson.


© Webster 1913.

Jump, adv.

Exactly; pat.




© Webster 1913.

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