A sweet old woman who, in Fairy Tales, for some unknown reason, lives in the arsehole of nowhere - normally beyond the deep, dark forest. Though she really needs a homehelp, she refuses to be moved from her delapidated wee cottage.

If you find yourself in a Fairy Tale, as a Grandma your future is a bit grim. Wolves will, no doubt, feature in it soon. A Grandma can always be recognised by her small eyes, ears, nose and teeth.

If your Grandma does not have these features, then leave and call a Woodsman, immediately - you may be infested with wolves. If your Grandma has those features, but is constantly feeding you up, and stoking the oven, then you may have the misfortune of being in the company of Witches.

The only course of action left, if you are overrun by Witches, is to run - oh, or wrap a key in silk and pretend it is your finger (to buy some time), then trick her into falling in her own oven, and roast her alive (Witches seem to have notoriously bad eyesight).

Grand"ma" (?), Grand"mam*ma" (?), n.

A grand mother.

<-- Grandmaster. See grand master. -->


© Webster 1913.

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