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Thanksgiving is a very nice holiday. It's all in good spirit, and I applaud anyone responsible for its engraving into American culture. However, despite my appreciation of family (and my love of the holiday season), I can't say much in defense of the actual contents of Thanksgiving dinner.

Because, really, when it comes down to it, the food served at Thanksgiving isn't all that exciting. I mean, come on, turkey? Why turkey? Why not shrimp, or something? Pasta? It just doesn't make sense. My mother is a fabulous cook, and she spends hours preparing the food (turkey, yams, potatoes, pies, etc.). I always share my gratitude with her and whoever else may be with us, always eating until full. But this is all facade. To me, the food has the integrity of a piece of toast. And yet everyone acts (authentically or not, I don't know) as if it's the best thing they've ever tasted. Supposedly it's a prerequisite that eating at Thanksgiving has to be like finding god or winning freedom or losing your virginity.

These customs are ridiculous. How did they get put into place? And why?

In my world, Thanksgiving turkeys eat people.
Not for any specific reason.
Just because.

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