... And I don't mean the talking pig or Mr. Ruth. Tell me, is Rene Russo too old to be the lust object? Too old to be the woman who makes a man do irrational things? Too old to be the one that men in the theater long for?
Look, the rest of this is long and rambly. You should skip it.
I told you to skip it, now fuck off!
This is such a public, yet private space. I think of such examples of brilliance as Modern Mayan Slaughtercomb, which is so inspired and loopy that I weep to think Herman Melville missed reading it. I worry that DPride is out getting discouraged somewhere instead of following through on his crazy vision. Ah, Bartelby! Ah, Humanity!
I worry about tangents. Is there a place for loopiness here? In an environment when every digression can be folded up into a link, is there really any freedom to
meander within one node? Everything you could think of to say can be parsed out into everything nodes. So is there any reason not to just state what you have to say in a simple, declarative paragraph with all the messy bits
snipped off into other nodes?
fifty ways to say 'fuck off':
- damn with faint praise
- praise with passive aggression
- put a contract out on the object of affection
- affect an egregious expression
- express a righteous indignation
- indict with false accusation
- imply an odius infraction
- retract an earlier affirmation
- deny the situation
- intoxicate with devious libations
- invoke libidinous inflammation
- invite to shadowed assignation
- mete out judicious sussurations
- encourage whispered exhortations
- meet at secret destination
- trip on newly dug impatiens
- smell the earthy exhalations
- of the garden's mouldy breath;
- accept the friendly restoration
- of a normal standing station
- brushing hands and deprecation
- of a laborer's potations
- that led to such a tricky place in
- such a evening full of promise
- tell me what you say is honest
- that you found my onyx pen its
- such a lovely gift;
- I had it from my mother
- she gave one like it to my brother
- But this is the original, I was born the first~
- If you're sure you like it, I'm sure that you can try it-
- Sometimes it skips annoyingly and then sometimes it
- Ah, look the ink is everywhere and now the sky is black.
- Tell me you would not betray me- that's what you set out to
- all those lines ago!
- I know that what you brought me (to this garden in the
- is not what you want to give me--
- you're reaching in your purse.
- Perhaps you mean to kill me now, my last smell will be China
- The perfume bottle next to something deadly in your
- It could have been worse.
- The ultimate fuck-you, I think, whatever you have in
- Who'd dream that condom, or that gun, was
nuzzed next to brush-your-hair
- Did the man who sold you that, know who you
bought it for?
- Did he make a mental note? A model of the
- Did he know I would be in your bed, or lying
on the floor?
- I hear a jingle, the keys to your door.
- Oh, Rene.
- You fooled me.
- I thot it was a g
Nothing like a bit of poetry to say "fuck off." Do it now.
That's what I imagine Rene Russo would be like in bed. Tricky. It's those cheeks of hers that make me think so. In the event--of the movie, I have never slept with Ms. Russo--she spends the movie in an uncomfortable position, stuck in the role written for a 25 year-old, and acting the role of a 45 year-old playing a 25 year-old. I would really like to see someone playing the role of a 45 year-old. Specifically, I would like to see an actress/writer combo with enough brains to create the character of a 45 year-old who makes me want her more than I want the nubile, fresh 25 year-old.
After all, I'm going to be 45 years old. Hopefully! I mean, consider the alternatives! and with better luck, I will be a 75 year-old, at which age I will be fantasizing about 45 year-olds! Ah, 45. Old enough for me to fuck, and maybe smart enough to fuck me-- she's past 25, at which age she wouldn't LOOK at me, and 35, at which she would charge me for it (make me father her kids!) and she's lovely forty five, past that first marriage, or in a really stable one-- has eaten eye candy for long enough to start hunting for a sweet soul, and here's me at 75, with thirty-five more years of sweetnuss under my belt than the young punks her age! Ah, 45! Lord, let me love you, you forty-five year old honey. Let's hang our wrinkly skins on the bedroom door and frolic, luscious us, like we didn't know how to when we were kids!
So there. Yes, she's forty five. And it's in my best interest to start learning how to become aroused by forty-five year-olds. No wait, that's not just what I mean. I mean it is what I mean
, but it's not ALL i mean. I also mean that it's in everybody's best interest to be aroused as much as possible, by as many people as possible. I mean, doesn't that sound like a nice way to live? Constantly aroused?
I'm feeling like Walt Whitman
! Then suddenly, I turn into George Bush (both of him):
Ah! I jest, I jibe! I retreat, with all possible
haste, from that statement! That rhetorical consideration! I was younger than
Henry Hyde when I thought that way, and in my more mature present state I
would never be caught dead not retracting that, was I caught saying it, which
I believe I have said all that I can on the matter. Next. <i>Constant
arousal</i> is called... well it's called something medical, and it's
bad. Priapism, I think. Which sounds a whole lot nastier than the prudism we
were all brought up with, doesn't it? Yes, I said "Prudism", and I think that
I use the word advisedly! Prudism, after all, is prudent, prudish,
providential, all those good PR words. "Constant Arousal" is a growing problem
in our country, and I think it makes people afraid to say they're "Prudent"
and from the G.O."P" and This whole menacing wave of "PC", or "Political Correctness" does not make me afraid to say that I'm not afraid to say it! I will say it, and I'm proud to say it!
Well, fuck you George. I'm not afraid to say that
I'd like to be aroused, Constantly, by Rene Russo. No, that's not what I mean.
What I mean is, why is aldous42 so repelled at the thought of a 45 year-old
woman being incredibly sexy? I felt the same way, at moments, watching her on
the screen. And then I thought, wow, by human standards she's quite beautiful,
although by movie standards the whole thing borders on desperate. But if she
were in the room? If I were married to her? Yowza.
Come on. Are you pissed at her because she is vulnerable now, but was once
the cheerleader in high school? Would you feel different about this if you were
as desirable as Mickey Rartin, Ferratin Ward or
Shad Fitt? That is, how much of this is sour grapes? How much of this
is a realistic assessment of beauty? Dude, did da Man get you to enforce the
same beauty standard he uses to lock you out of the Glittery People Club?
Look. Most of us do not date people who look like movie stars. Because there
are very few people who look like movie stars without the aid of lights and
makeup. And because even movie stars start to look like 45 year-olds once
they've hit 80 or so. Statistically, you and I are not going to spend much of
our lives smooching smooth, nimble necks and nuzzling flat bellies. Does this
have to be such a horrible fate?Why does it always have to be one in the movies?
I tole you to fuck off way back there.