You won't believe the things I've seen, far beyond your wildest dreams...
I don't remember much about my dream except a redheaded guy was wearing Miami Dolphins gear and I commented on that. The only NFL jersey I owned was an impulse buy, I haven't thought about that thing in years. My brother had a Cowboys jersey because my aunt and uncle lived in Texas at the time, but I was a Dolphins fan for some reason. It was a really interesting pieces of merchandise and now I'm kind of sad I no longer own it even though I'm not a football fan. That thing was cool.
Going to try something different today:
Manager 1:
Strengths: Incredible work ethic, impressive time management skills, extreme generosity, ability to read people and accurately determine motivation, provides emotional support, honors herself and others, avoids micromanaging.
Where she has room for improvement: Lets her temper get away from her, often willing to believe the worst of others rather than giving them the benefit of the doubt, does things herself instead of letting the person who should have done the task complete it, has trouble communicating what she wants done in the way she wants it to be done.
How I can help: Learn how to manage my time better so I am more effective at work. Explain that I often know what needs to be done, but fear proceeding because I've gotten into trouble for going ahead with things in the past. Continue to give her praise and encouragement and use diplomacy skills to build bridges rather than set fires to them. Learn how to be more assertive while recognizing that my style and role is very different than hers.
Manager 2:
Strengths: Very analytical, has a great deal of knowledge and experience, family oriented, can be very nurturing and empathetic.
Where she has room for improvement: Needs to manage her stress levels better and learn how to be assertive without being bitchy and passively aggressive. Either needs a different role in the organization or learn how to stick to one task and see it through. Would be better off abandoning need for control and accepting that when her immediate superior tells her to do something, challenging that is insubordinate. Needs to deal with her marital issues in a healthier manner. Nurture her creative and artistic side. Counseling would also help.
How I can help: I'm not sure that trying to talk to her is a good idea, once someone shows me that they'll use things I've shared in confidence against me, I'm very leery of engaging them on anything other than a very superficial level. Maybe staying out of her way and letting natural processes flow is the best strategy here. I'm not typically able to provide a great deal of emotional support, but maybe I could work on that.
Employee 3:
Strengths: Punctual, organized, can be very sweet and thoughtful, has lost weight and learned a great deal since I met her.
Where she has room for improvement: seems to be content to take the path of least resistance whenever possible, needs to stop manipulating others and work on her attitude and self esteem, would benefit from assertiveness training and anger management strategies. Either work things out with the guy she has, or leave him for the guy she flirts with at work.
How I can help: Challenge some of the things I see, be warmer and more empathetic without being fake which is admittedly going to be very difficult.
Employee 4:
Strengths: Smart, listens, generous, empathetic, connects well with others, good on the sales floor.
Where she has room for improvement: Adopts an air of helplessness that is very unattractive, treats her job like social hour and isn't expected to do the same tasks the rest of us are, sometimes plays stupid to avoid responsibility. Needs to learn how to manage inventory better.
How I can help: Hold her accountable when I work with her by explaining what needs to be done. Recognize that she has a situation at home that is extremely stressful and work provides her with a social outlet she badly needs.
Me:
Strengths: Sees the big picture, works hard, brings energy to the team and sales floor, organized, punctual, gets things done, sees how systems can be improved, challenges status quo.
Where I have room for improvement: Remember that life is more shades of gray than black and white, come in, do my job, let management worry about others, but speak up assertively without letting my emotions get involved, get more exercise, continue to cultivate interests and hobbies outside of work, let go...
How I can help: Love myself and others more. I'm a great resource and I've managed to alienate two people I work very closely with, I can see the wisdom of trying to talk about the issues, but this hasn't gone well in the past and I don't trust management to do anything other than blame my manager and move me higher on their watch list. Maybe just going along as I have been and doing my job to the best of my ability is what I can continue to do. Give myself and others more credit. See how far we have come rather than continually focusing on how to improve. Communicate how I'm feeling even if it's after the fact.
Daughter 1:
Strengths: Personality galore, good friend, artistic, empathetic, witty, writes well, mechanically and technically inclined, musically gifted.
Where she has room for improvement: Lacks time mangement skills, fails to read social cues, craves the thrill of danger and excitement, easily bored, pitifully low self esteem, immature.
How I can help: Involve teachers and others who know her well. Provide more creative outlets for her, set effective limits and enforce them, figure out food with her so she can enjoy social situations with safe foods, get her father and his girlfriend on the same page as far as dietary restrictions and things her pediatrician has recommended she take. Take better care of myself so I can support and nurture her better. Remember to tell her that I'm sad and that's what's behind my anger. Love her for who she is at this moment in time.
Daughter 2:
Strengths: Knows who she is, manages her time well, artistic, sensitive, writes from the heart, intuitive, thoughtful, sees connections, entrepreneurial, dreamy, wise.
Where she has room for improvement: Can be very harsh, critical, and cruel. Needs assertiveness training and more creative outlets, focusing less on outer beauty and more on character development would help herself and others.
How I can help: Recognize that she knows herself well, go to counseling with her and her sister so we can function better as a family unit. Try writing to her rather than communicating directly. Tell her how I feel more often. Appreciate and love her for the things she is and stop focusing on how hurtful it is when she lashes out, help her cope with her world which is very deep and dark. Talk to her dad about what I see as some larger self esteem issues in her life. Talk to her about changes before I make them since I know stability of environment is important to her. Ask how I can be a better parent, ditto for her sister.
My mom:
Strengths: Hard working, disciplined, manages money well, driven, motivated.
Where she has room for improvement: Would benefit from trying to understand others rather than judging them, could use lessons in tact, needs to develop compassion and empathy.
How I can help: Recognize that she's limited, we're good at different things, and stop trying to get anything from her because she just can't give it. Identify other people/women in my life who will provide emotional support, encouragement, and praise me for what I do well rather than continually bring up areas where I'm weak and failing.
Sister 1:
Strengths: Makes education a priority, makes nutritious meals for her family, reads, relentlessly self improves.
Where she has room for improvement: Extremely hard on herself and others, lacks sensitivity and empathy, very critical of others, puts others down, bossy, fights too hard to get her way rather than seeing importance of flexing and compromising. Rigid and unyielding, fails to recognize that what's important to her may not be high on another's priority list.
How I can help: Take my nieces for an outing, do one on one things with them, provide more support and encouragement, keep lines of communication open, resist the temptation to fight fire with fire, keep my eyes on the horizon, choose my battles, keep good boundaries in place, remove myself from volatile situations.
Sister 2:
Strengths: Intelligent, intuitive, creative, listens, manages money well.
Where she has room for improvement: Her way is not always the best, needs to be kinder and more flexible, would benefit from exploring her creative side through art, writing, music, etc...
How I can help: Ask what she needs and determine how much big sister she wants in her life, keep calling and texting to see how things are going.
Sister 3:
Strengths: Sensitive, empathetic, perceptive, funny, hard working, diplomatic.
Where she has room for improvement: Takes duty to an extreme and unhealthy measure, needs to clean up diet and get on some sort of regular exercise and activity plan, needs to learn how to take instead of being the perpetual giver, would like to see her open up to the idea of dating again not because I think a man will solve any of her problems, but because I think shutting out half the population and denying those needs for affection and intimacy harms her more than it helps.
How I can help: Schedule time with her so we can reconnect. Recognize that she will always pack her schedule full, but I can be flexible because the relationship is a priority. Ask her for things I need that she can give me, be a better listener, recognize that between her extreme and mine, there's a place to meet in the middle that will probably be better for both of us. I can't keep throwing things away and she can't save everything she comes across. Buy her a gift? Make something for her? Spend time with my niece so she gets a break.
Friend 1:
Strengths: detail oriented, intuitive, truth teller, works toward goals, reaches out and keeps friendships alive, undertands people and relationships, gives great advice, listens.
Where she could improve: Needs to partner with someone who will help her see the larger picture, I suspect this is why we are friends and work well together. She's working on getting in touch with her professional and feminine side and I'm really proud of how far she's come since we met. She knows she needs to stop smoking, I've offered to be supportive, she's on the right track, needs to address her workaholic and perfectionistic tendencies, getting it done is more important than rolling out the perfect product. Struggles with self esteem, withdraws when she could be reaching out.
How I can help: Continue to listen, support, encourage, and remind her of her strengths. She has had a hard life, but this is what has made her who she is, remind her that sometimes being vulnerable is better than trying to power through things. Get together with her outside of her home which is depressing. Tell her how much I value her friendship and insights.
Friend 2:
Strengths: warm, open, friendly, funny, interested in relationships, good at her job.
Where she could improve: Needs to get out of her own head and see how large the world really is, do more volunteer work, let go of her body image issues and stop focusing on her face as the one thing that makes her attractive to men. Give up the idea that she's going to meet the perfect guy and open herself up to the world of casual dating because it can be fun, and doesn't have to end in a trip to the altar.
How I can help: Take some cues from her book and learn how to relax and just enjoy myself more. Continue to raise the bar and support her efforts to clean up her diet and incorporate more activity and exercise into her life. Recognize that explaining things doesn't work, but telling her what I would do or why I think certain things makes more sense to her. Listen to her when she tells me not to cut people out of my life without a discussion about why I think I need to put a wall between us. Paint something for her? Invite her to create something with me? Give her a Starbucks giftcard?
Friend 3:
Strengths: Understands motivation and reads others incredibly well. Smart, manages money well, encouraging, supportive, disciplined, manages time well, appreciates art and beauty.
Where he could improve: Stop living vicariously through others, continue to build self esteem, recognize that women aren't as interested in looks as he thinks, and that he has things to offer beyond friendship, accept that romance is a risk, but safety can lead to stagnation.
How I can help: Challenge his idea that the friend zone is a safe place for him. Continue to expose him to new things and ideas that are out of his comfort zone. Accept his view of me and listen to him when he tells me I'm a fool rushing in where the angels fear to tread, but also realize that this is my life and I have very little fear when it comes to some of the things that scare him.
Friend 4:
Strengths: Kind, beautiful, generous, self aware, funny, good at identifying the strengths and weaknesses of others.
Where she could improve: Needs to learn how to manage fear of her emotions, get out of her head, and do more for others because this will help her take care of herself. Develop and cultivate her artistic side in some capacity, address fundamental psychological distress rather than searching for physical root cause of illness and depression. Another person who plays it too safe in my opinion. Heartbreak can be worth the pain as a growth experience. Not sure what is going on with her significant other, but if you can't talk to that person about fundamental issues, something is not right there.
How I can help: Continue to be supportive and encouraging. Listen and invite her out. Recognize that she is on her own journey and healing is a process. Laugh and joke around more. Laughter is good medicine.
Friend 5:
Strengths: Writes well, witty, empathetic, listens, supports local community.
Where he could improve: Address underlying depression issues. Stop trying to get emotional support in passive ways. Take charge of life instead of letting it happen. Be more accountable and responsible. Stop complaining about being single if you're unwilling to do anything that gets you out of the house and in front of other people.
How I can help: Continue to be firm about what I will and will not do to keep the relationship going. I enjoy talking and problem solving, I'm not interested in anything romantic. Recognize when things are going well and it's fun for both parties, realize when we're bringing each other down or annoying the other person.
***
I have an extremely high tolerance for certain types of risk. I'm fortunate to have fiction as an outlet or I probably would engage in more thrill seeking behaviors. The other day I was riding in the car with my daughter when I asked whether or not she considered herself a good driver. She gave herself some credit, not enough in my opinion, for the things that she does well, and then told me that she likes to go fast. It was wet and drizzling when we were out so I was telling her to slow down more than I normally would since my car isn't great in that type of weather. We discussed the need for speed and I'm glad I went there with her. I told her that I like to go fast and so does her father, she comes by that honestly, but it can be a very dangerous game to play, especially for a driver who is less experienced than others. She's seen deer run out in front of us and almost been involved in several accidents. Fortunately everyone was safe, I try to remain very calm outwardly because I want her to be able to calm herself down after a near miss, and I don't want her to get into the habit of beating herself up like many others do. Address the issue, and state what will happen next time. The next time I want to get over I will check to make sure that no cars are in my blind spot before continuing.
She doesn't really have trouble in school as far as her grades go, a lot of the time she's bored so she doesn't see the need to put in the effort. I don't view grades as good metrics of intelligence, I had a lot of trouble with certain aspects of school and so did her father. I'm really glad that her father's girlfriend is in his life and theirs. She has a skill set he needs that I don't, I think it's good for the girls to be exposed to other people and ways of thinking even if I don't always agree with some of their choices and decisions. There have been times in my life when I wanted to numb out and escape from the reality I created for myself, I have to really watch it or I'll create trouble for myself because I'm good at problem solving and getting myself into trouble means I have to find a way to get out of it. This is a very unhealthy coping mechanism and part of the reason art, fiction, and exercise are good for me. I'm drawn to certain types of danger and people who represent that type of risk, and I hate it when others try to assume a parenting role in my life when I haven't asked for their input, feedback, or advice. I do appreciate it when they tell me about warning signs they see, information is fine, let me figure out what to do with it once I've received it. One of the things that bugs me is how the safe people will tell me I know myself and others, and then try to talk me out of that when it doesn't align with what they want to believe. They can't have it both ways.
Certain types of safety are very boring to me. A lot of the time I go with the flow in conversational settings or at work because I don't see a lot of value in telling people how wrong I think they are, or pointing out ways that things could be better because it isn't going to go anywhere anyways. I talk a lot, sometimes I talk too much, this is something I'm continually working on, but I also think I'm a good listener because I enjoy helping others solve problems and I do care about humanity in a general sense. What I would like to be able to do is to share things about myself when appropriate in response to a conversational opening or question. I have such a hard time communicating effectively and this is something that really bothers me about myself. I get that others aren't wired the way that I am, but I can only understand the world in ways that make sense to me. I'm too quick to leave relationships when things aren't going well rather than try to talk things out with other people. This has cost me friends and potential love interests. I don't necessarily mind being single, or even friendless, but I want those choices to be healthy ones, not reactionary. I think I need to get clearer about what I want and what I'm willing to give while also learning how to better take and receive. I think I'm getting a bit better at this, but I still see so much room for improvement that I'm very discouraged and disappointed in myself.
Buying that book on how to beome a more loving person was exactly what I needed. I hate reading it, I can be incredibly patient, but this is usually reserved for a very small segment of the population and then I tend to be too patient with those people. It's like my patience is either infinite, or nonexistant, and I'd like to find a middle ground where I don't put up with things I shouldn't just because I love someone or care deeply about them, and I can learn to have more patience with people who play a tangential role in my life. I want to do more and think less. Thinking is fine, writing is fine, but someone once said that writing can be the opposite of living, and I believe that's true in my case. Find a limit and stick with it. I read an article this morning that said to ask for help when you're stuck. I'm stuck and I need some help, but I don't know exactly what kind, or who to ask, or who I can even trust with some of these things. Maybe I'll make a list of what I think I need help with and try to match up people in my life who are willing and able to give me some of what I need as far as help and support goes. Generally speaking I'm very pleased with how far I've come, especially when I think back to 2015 and what a wretched time in my life that was. I know I can do and be more, it's just a matter of doing things I don't want to, keeping the mentors and encouraging types in my life, and distancing myself from drama and energy vampires.
I have a lot going for me and I'm glad I realize that.
Xoxo,
J
***
Me: "Maybe I just don't know what to do with him. I do not want to go out with him. He scares me."
Him: "Nice doesn't mean lead him on, nice means don't shun him or treat him like he did something wrong (unless of course he did, that's different)."
Me: "No, nice feels like I'm encouarging him."
Him: "So just flirt or ignore--only two modes? I dunno, you interact with me just fine without those two things."
Me: "You're different. I can be nice to you. I don't know how to be nice to him."
Him: "Why?"
Me: "It feels like every drop of freedom, independence, and identity is being sucked into an emotional abyss."
Him: "Can you just be you (almost as if you didn't know he liked you?)"
Me: "No. That feels very fake and inauthentic to me. I'd never be able to pull that off. I'm a terrible actress. Trust me on this."
"Why? You being you should feel genuine (I think)"
"I can't explain it. It feels manipulative. I like clarity. He likes me and those feelings are not returned. I want to tell him - Stay away from me. Don't talk me, look at me, or think about me."
"Sorry. Maybe I go along my merry way too much, but I don't think anyone has their feelings hurt when I do and no one mistakes me for wanting to sleep with them either, and if they ever do, it is their mistake."
"That's you. I can't do that. My friend says he looks at her like that too."
"So basically he is a total creeper. In that case, I'd shun him completely."
"No, it's not creepy exactly. It's intense romantic emotion and I don't like that. I'd be thrilled if he met a very nice woman. I'm not her."
"Oh, geez, someone needs to get him focused on someone else then."
"It doesn't feel sexual. It feels, I don't know how to explain it other than to say it feels like I'm a goddess and he wants to worship me. I'm only human. I'm imperfect and flawed."
"You are pretty special so...!! (Sorry, I should not tease you). What if it were sexual, would that be worse?"
"Teasing is fine. It's amusing to you. I get it. I can meet sexual needs (but not his) much easier than I can emotional appeals. I would be ice cold in his bed."
"I rather doubt you would be ice cold."
"Doubt it not. I can be icy, frigid, unyielding, and ultra polite if I feel crossed or threatened."
"You wouldn't even be in his bed then, which is fine."
"No, I will never go there."
"You almost make it sound like a fun challenge. But how do you feel threatened or crossed? He likes you, which makes sense to me that he could."
"He's coming across as needy. I want someone with more confidence and higher self esteem. Half the fun is working for it because that's what I would do to him. I am definitely a challenge, at least I like to think that I am."
"That does sound fun (he admits)."
"I can be a lot of fun."
"Of that I have no doubt (not icy cold)."
"Do you feel bad for the men who know me in real life?"
"No, they are lucky."
"Work is a weird place. Apparently health food stores draw an unusual crowd."
"I don't know, I think there are lots of guys who find you appealing."
"I bet most of the men at work have no idea that I have a wilder side."
"I bet most of them dream about it though."
"You are something else. I show up and do my job which is a minor miracle at that place."
"Oh I know I'm right."
"I just don't get the sense that most men are hot and bothered by me."
"Or they are good at hiding it (like I am with women that turn me on)."
"I think I'm usually pretty good at sensing that kind of thing. Or do you disagree?"
"I am sure you are when a guy can't help himself, I dunno about when a guy is trying not to let it show at all."
"I think I'm good at determining who wants to screw me. Agree, or disagree?"
"I am not sure. I bet you underestimate the sheer number of guys who want that. My default would be that a given guy would. I think that some guys are obvious and others are not."
"Maybe I'm differentiating between guys who would sleep with any woman given the chance and men who actually like me."
"Ah, maybe so. The former has to wear it to have any shot and the latter can be friends first."
"I need the mental connection or it won't go anywhere."
"Maybe you can see all of that in a moment, I don't know."
"I try to be as objective as possible, but I'm obviously biased. I'm not a mind reader or anything. I make educated guesses based on behavior and past experiences. Generally I hear or feel a little click when I connect with someone. May not mean anything sexual, just helps me identify who I want to get to know better."
"Ok. Did you get some sex appeal for me, or was your earlier comment talking about your *cute* friends?"
"All of my friends are cute sweetheart. No exceptions."
"Is it something that comes in the mail, or...?"
"Most of sex appeal to me is believing you have it and behaving accordingly."
"Hahaha! So not something you pick up at the store then!"
"Only if you know where to shop, and I do."
"Ahhhh..., you need to type a sex appeal list, add that to your list of rules of engagement."
"Maybe I will. Take care."
"You too."
***
This list is by no means exhaustive, just a couple of things that I find sexy and seek out in others:
- Kindness. Compassion. Knowing who you are
- and what you want. Having standards,
- principles, and standing up for others
- who may not be there to defend themselves.
- Understanding that communication, trust,
- negotiation, and compromise, are the
- foundations of my relationships. Loving
- yourself and contributing to society in a
- meaningful way. Caring for the earth,
- a great sense of humor.
- Caring about your personal appearance
- to the extent that you make a good first
- impression on others. Going out of your
- way to help make someone else's life a
- tiny bit easier in any way you can.
- Listening - I probably should have made
- that my number one priority. I listen as
- best I can and I appreciate others who
- really focus in on what others are saying.
- A sense of adventure, willingness to try new things.
- Believing in yourself and others, that
- tough times don't last, but those who
- seek help and reach out when they
- need it will go further faster than those
- who try to go it alone. I love art and I
- want others to encourage and support
- those who create it even when it's
- not to your taste. Reward effort, find
- something nice to say or nod silently.
- Play the piano or another musical instrument.
- Push yourself even when it's hard. Know
- that I will always encourage you even
- when I think you're making a terrible
- mistake. I believe in letting others fail,
- I can't tell you what to do and I don't
- want you to boss me around either.
- That being said, sometimes there's a
- need to establish who is in charge of
- a given thing at a given time. I'm
- not very feminine, but I will cry.
- Hold me when I'm sad, comfort me
- when I'm down, ask what I need
- rather than how I feel, most of the
- time I really don't know, but if I do,
- I won't hold back even if that means
- hurting your feelings. I will give you
- the truth if that's what you really
- want. My actions speak louder than
- my words and yours will tell me what
- I want to know about you.
- Lie to me once and you might get
- away with it, dishonesty will earn
- my wrath if I care, if not, we may
- never speak again unless I have
- to interact with you. Don't expect
- me to be anything other than
- polite. It can take me a very long
- time to get to know someone and
- really trust them. Once you're in,
- it will take a lot for me to kick you out.
- Disrespect me and my food and we
- are done. Tell me what you want and
- I'll try to make that happen. Tell me
- what you hate and I'll try to avoid
- whatever it is. Have your own hobbies
- and interests, I don't expect anyone
- to spend every waking moment with
- me. Unless you are a very special
- person I don't want to watch sports
- with you. That's my time for me.
- Dress for me and I will notice. I
- enjoy rewarding people who go
- the extra mile. It's lonely at the
- top, but the view is spectacular.
- I'm moody and intense. If that
- bothers you, let me know. I
- often need time to think through
- things, it's okay if you do too.
- I love people who love hard.
- I love those who question and debate.
- Bad days are okay. Bad times are too,
- a continually bad attitude is a problem
- and I'll expect you to address that
- unless you want to start seeing a lot
- less of me. You're free to leave at
- any time. I hope you stick around,
- but I never want anyone to feel
- stuck the way I've been in the past.
- I have that freedom too. Communication
- is good, talk to me if there's a problem.
- I want you to feel loved. I also want to
- feel that from you, I don't need the
- words often, every once in a while it's
- nice to hear, I love watching you shave,
- it turns me on and makes me feel like
- I know you better. I love it when you
- smell nice, I love unbuttoning clothing,
- especially dress shirts, but I'm not that
- picky about what others wear, most of
- the time it ends up on the floor anyways.
- I will dress for you if that's what you like,
- want to see me in a dress or skirt? Let me
- know. Do you have an ultimate sexual
- fantasy? I take it for granted that you'll
- feel comfortable sharing that with me if
- we're together. Do you like something I
- despise? Let's work through things and
- see if we can agree to disagree, I'm not
- allergic to sci-fi, but I don't love it either.
- Movies are hard for me, but I'll watch one with you.
- Problems are fine, I do not care for drama.
- Being a sulky brat is off putting and I will
- create distance for myself if I think you're
- in a mood. Pouting and temper tantrums
- are very unsexy, I can be teased out of my
- bad moods and I'll try to do that for you,
- but only up to a point. I love food and
- sex, I can tie anything back to an
- encounter, I love erotic poetry, dice
- games, cards, and stripping for you.
- I have a lot of male friends. They aren't a
- threat to you or our relationship if we're
- in one. If that bothers you, I'm the wrong
- woman to pursue. I like men who are
- curious, aggressive, playful, subtle,
- good with money, seductive, intellectual,
- and conversational. I need help in that
- area and I appreciate those who make it
- very easy for me to get to know them better.
- Tell me about yourself, I want to know more.
- I think going out with someone should be a
- fairly casual thing, it doesn't have to be all
- serious unless that's what both parties want.
- I have some fears, people who face theirs
- are more attractive to me than those that
- refuse. I need a lot of reassurance, I need
- to hear that I'm making a difference and
- not a complete failure because I screwed
- up in a pretty big way. If you feel unloved,
- I hope you tell me so I can change that.
- I'm a morning person, you don't have to be,
- but please respect this about me. You can
- expect sex in the shower, blowjobs in the
- kitchen, I will screw you on the stairs, and
- go down on you in the closet when you're
- getting dressed. I love games, puzzles,
- sports, reading, writing, and I want to
- know what you can do to expand my
- horizons. How big are your dreams?
- I want to know everything about you.
- People who spend time with me make
- me feel loved. We don't have to be doing
- the same thing, sometimes being in the
- same room is enough. I have two children,
- they are very independent, sometimes
- we are at home for hours before anyone
- says anything to anyone else. We're all
- introverts. We have our issues, we also
- have fun together. I'm not your typical
- mom. Sometimes I'm down on myself for that.
- I want someone who brings out the best
- in me that tells me that I make them want
- to be a better person. I like people who
- put a smile on my face and I love it when
- I feel like I made someone's day a teeny
- tiny bit better just because I was around
- when they were feeling down. You can
- tell me anything. I try hard not to judge.
- I'll tell you secrets, share them if you
- want, but I won't trust you again.
- I love people who love getting outside,
- I don't do enough of this. I need people
- to tell me what I do well and remind me
- that tomorrow is another day. I need
- lovers of beauty, wisdom, art, poetry,
- science, machinery, simplicity, I crave
- minimalism, yet things creep into my
- place. Organization is dear to my heart,
- please understand that about me, I
- want to help you, but only if you want help.
- It doesn't matter where we live, I
- love nice cars, I just love getting out
- for a drive, but if that's not your thing,
- I'm quite content to hit the road, alone.
- I want to hear how your day was. I like
- rubbing your back, I have a foot fetish,
- I love the color black, but you knew
- that. You probably know more about
- me than I know about myself, and I
- think that's totally cool. Really.
- Healthy habits are important to me.
- I have some bad ones and it would
- be great if you could remind me why
- I need to change. I love to kiss and to
- be kissed. Touch me anytime, anywhere.
- I love to give people little presents, I
- never expect anything in return, not
- even a thank you. I think men who
- buy groceries and wipe down counters
- are sexier than those who don't.
- Flirting is fun, I'm loyal, reliable,
- dependable, frivolous, quirky,
- smart, I can dish it out, and I
- can take it too. I'll love you
- forever if you do things that
- I hate. Like dishes. I love
- laundry, maybe we can
- compromise on things like that
- Games are fun for me. But if you
- don't like them, are you right for me?
- I could keep writing, but it's getting
- late, I like going to bed early, I love
- laying next to someone, listening to
- the beat of your heart at night is
- soothing to me until one thing
- leads to another. Tell me what
- heats you up, better yet, show me.
- Talk to me, listen to me, I love you,
- I want you, I need you, I hope
- all of those things are true, for you, too.
***
Xoxo,
j