Your friend Behr (which is me) has seen a lot of crazy stuff in his day, including hippies. But last night I saw something that was really disturbing. The two children who have me as their prisoner are having a conversation with the hairless ass weasel. This is freaking me out (internet kiddie saying).

I am also a person familiar with the operations of various strategic command structures, which I learned from casual viewing of The History Channel while masturbating and conducting wildly amateurish medical experiments on people I have conquered in my neighborhood. As such I know the value of spying and "listening in" on private conversations. It is why I spend so much time in public rest rooms.

They are taking me to a place called "Kehlsteinhaus" which is somewhere to the south of us. This is good because it is January and cold as fuck out here in the woods of Bavaria. I can imagine how terrible it was for the German soldiers in the mid-1940s to fight in this weather against the invading Allied armies. I feel their suffering in my bones. Nasty, nasty invaders. Doughboys go home! Stay there! Keep out of the affairs of other countries, fucktards.

I am riled. I am very cold. Still only one shoe and wet sock. It might snow (conclusively proving global warming to be a hoax). It ain't warm out here people. Step away from your computer terminals for ten minutes and go outside. Too fucking cold out for there to be ANY kind of global warming EVER. People believe all sorts of crap. LOOK AT THE CONCLUSIVE EVIDENCE!

Okay, fingers too cold to type. We are on the move again. One of the children invited the hairless ass weasel to join us. The other seems mad about it. I will play them all off each other and escape eventually. It is all about playing the politics. If you can't play the game, get out of the picture.

My friends.

reQuest 2019: the reTurn: a half-time update

We are now halfway through the 2019 reQuest and one week away from the cutoff date for making new reQuests, so it's time for an update!

So far we have:

  • 20 brave participants
  • 133 reQuests
  • 25 reQuests filled with top quality writeups
  • which have earned their authors 85C!s

Bookreader kicked off the month with the first filled reQuest, Homenode Riddles, which is a great writeup to bookmark for later reference - you won't solve them in one sitting! 

Sol Invictus's review of President Nixon's pre-presidency years has the most laurel wreaths so far. The original reQuest to review either a US President or a Roman Emperor struck a chord with SI who has considered Tricky Dicky's life and achievements through careful comparison with the various Roman Emperors.

Nemosyn's 50 Ways to Make a Muffin was well received, although disappointment has been expressed in more than one quarter that the writeup wasn't a recipe for a muffin written like this:

"You just crack in an egg, Greg,
Pour it in the pan, Stan, 
Bake for 15 min, Glynn
At 180 degrees."

This year we are seeing so many fantastic reQuests made by quest participants! Our newest reQuester, jessicaj has just joined the fun and could do with a few more reQuests to choose from - if any reQuesters have a moment, please send us a message with reQuests for jessicaj!

As always, /msg reQuest with any queries or reQuests. Keep writing!

The Nemosyn half of the reQuest team would also like to point out that 90% of the admin work has been done by the Silverai_me half of the reQuest team. If you're feeling appreciative, please direct your kind words, gold stars, blank cheques and laurel wreaths that way.

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