display | more...

We stopped for a while so I could adjust my wet sock that is extended more than three inches from the furthest reach of my curiously attractive 80 year old man toes. It now extends no more than two inches. Also there was a scarecrow which I dry humped to work off some aggression and sexual arousal I was experiencing on account of the feeling that coursed through my bones as I grabbed a kitten and crushed its head between my hands as the two children supervising me looked on in horror. They need to toughen up more. When I was their age, my father had me tearing the fingers off corpses so I'd get a feel for the work our world needs to get done. Sixty-percent of the population MUST be put into cruel work camps by 2030 or we will all be doomed. There they will suffer. Oh yes they will suffer. Ah, here comes the dry hump orgasm thank you very much.

I am looking for a lady friend if you are interested. Right now I cannot return to the United States of America (which is where you probably live because of everything2 website's strict America First policy on noding) because I will face charges on 168 counts of first degree murder and many, many lesser charges. I am currently in the Bavarian woods with two children who are going to throw me into some lava eventually although I cannot imagine how they will overpower a grown man with an X-Man type hand. I do have significant financial holdings and get very regular erections. My genitals are extremely wrinkled but sizable. You will be pleased with much of the sex but some of it will leave you deeply disturbed. I do pay for my ladies' therapy if they choose that route even though therapy is bunk because science. Ben Gazy is also involved in this equation (mathematically speaking - which is a false science that discounts what Jesus did at the temple with the money changers). I also really enjoy human breast milk and will take as much of it from you as I can get out of you by whatever means necessary. Obstinance on this point is a deal breaker. I will suck your tits until they look like raisins and then I will not stop until the moment when I smile and ask for your sister or cousin's telephone contact number (so I can call her for breast milk).

The hairless ass weasel (a life form not currently noded) has somehow crossed the ocean (possibly as a stowaway on a Chinese freighter like James Bond and the Buzzcocks). It has been following us through the woods and the children have noticed. We stopped into a little pub and ordered some beers (I forced the children at knifepoint to shotgun seven beers) and the hairless ass weasel waited outside. It looked at us through the window with beady little eyes.

That fucker is not my friend. You are my friend. Please send money to Bavaria through Western Union and I will try to find an office. Send at least $10,000 each of you on everything2 website. This is for pain and suffering caused dating back to 2001. I am looking for a girlfriend. You have two choices with me, sending me ten grand or giving up your ass to me. Choose one. Think it over but choose one. I am waiting. In certain sexual positions you will be able to see my curiously attractive 80 plus year old man toes and you will be asked to suck on them. That is part of the ass giving up offer. The ten thousand is much more clear cut. If Western Union is not convenient for you, I also have PayPal (internet kiddie bank thing) and accept (and sometimes launder with a 40% cut) profits from conflict diamonds.

I have to fold up the laptop because we are being thrown out of the Bavarian beer stand because I gave beers to children. 

My friends.

Before bed I hope for a dream. Guidance. Ask the unconscious for help. Oh, the unconscious is "out", right? Not in fashion. Well, except, the CBT thing is being called into question. Thinking positive might be a bandaid for some people. Some people might need and be willing to do deeper work.

I am in a forest. Beautiful and wet, with bright green moss. The damp northwest, when the sun comes out in the winter, it is magic. I am standing by a tree. There is a chunk of gold sitting on the moss, about the size of a loaf of bread. It is my gold. I wake up.

Twice more I dream, about giving treasure away.

It's not about the prizes, my mother would be delighted that I am sending them. Or is delighted, where ever she resides.

It's about a guy....


Wifey got invited to play cards against humanity by her coworker.

I, being her "main man" was invited too.

So we went, it's a game that our friend Behr would enjoy.

I actually enjoyed it, but I was pretty drunk by the end of it, so I guess we'll see if I made a fool of myself; wifey seems pretty relaxed, so I must've done ok. (I had to get her to read a couple of white cards due to my inability to read due to hysterical laughter.)

There were 2 PhD students at the table, apparently they weren't very funny according to the score. I was 3rd from the bottom, so I can only conclude that PhD students are less funny than me.

Or.. your cards against humanity score is inversely proportional to your intelligence, or whatever makes me sleep at night.

I've never played this game, it seems like a good icebreaker kinda game.

I got to chat and hang out with all the peeps prior, for about an hour, I'm not sure the game helped me find any further insights, 30mins into our chat, I think I got a pretty good understanding of these people, and probably vice versa.

I really don't feel like putting any effort into not being myself, so besides a few things that I subconsciously do to make myself feel cooler (sometimes intentionally, like trying to not hunch over), I am me.

My brain is all over the place today.

I unpacked all of my books today, I made a shelf of books that I haven't read yet. Some of them, I put in the "donate" pile, the rest will live on the shelf of shame, like War and peace (both Russian and English version, Dante and a few more that I'm more inclined to read.

Wifey semi adopted a 12yr old local kid, so last few days we've been entertaining her and took her to the local attractions.

Wifey is soft, not just by my steely Russian standards. Having random kids around made me realise even more that I should be the man of the house.

Wifey also thinks she is 50/50 with me, she's not. If she only understood that even 49/51 in my favour would be much more beneficial for the kids, but alas, chances are, she'll try to claw her way to the top, and kill the family unit.

I've been pushing wifey a little last couple of days in anticipation of this. She married me knowing full well what she was getting into, but she's been teaching me how to go about this the right way.

I'm not intentionally being facetious or misogynistic, this is really how I feel. A family structure should be, Father, Mother, children, Extended family, Friends. Last 2 could be interchangeable.

I really do think that the problem recently is that parents are trying to play the 50/50 game, pretending they're equal, and have equal say. This confuses kids and makes it easy to play a parent against a parent.

I, with my wife's blessing, will have to find a way to boss her around, if she listens, kids will listen, and most modern day problems won't exist.

I tried to show that to wifey today, she was gently trying to suggest that our kid visitor was overstaying her welcome. I intentionally didn't play ball and ignored her requests (similar to what wifey was doing earlier, and me, at the time, pointing out that once we have kids, she'll understand my frustrations)

Wifey couldn't control the kid. I know I wasn't helping, but when I say "git", the neighborhood kids dissapear.

I guess after all this rant, all I'm trying to say is that a family needs a structure, keep it consistent, and there shouldn't be many problems.

If a dad or a mum aren't happy with their position in the family, expect problems, especially for children.

I've seen a lot of families with overpowering mothers/fathers and neither end up being good for their children.

I really don't want to get into the whole gender debacle, but the way I see it, men are more logical and are more likely to lead a family to prosperity. In my case, I am, and will be the head of the family.

If not, there is no family, it's a shitstorm of confused children.

Log in or register to write something here or to contact authors.