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We stopped for a while so I could adjust my wet sock that is extended more than three inches from the furthest reach of my curiously attractive 80 year old man toes. It now extends no more than two inches. Also there was a scarecrow which I dry humped to work off some aggression and sexual arousal I was experiencing on account of the feeling that coursed through my bones as I grabbed a kitten and crushed its head between my hands as the two children supervising me looked on in horror. They need to toughen up more. When I was their age, my father had me tearing the fingers off corpses so I'd get a feel for the work our world needs to get done. Sixty-percent of the population MUST be put into cruel work camps by 2030 or we will all be doomed. There they will suffer. Oh yes they will suffer. Ah, here comes the dry hump orgasm thank you very much.

I am looking for a lady friend if you are interested. Right now I cannot return to the United States of America (which is where you probably live because of everything2 website's strict America First policy on noding) because I will face charges on 168 counts of first degree murder and many, many lesser charges. I am currently in the Bavarian woods with two children who are going to throw me into some lava eventually although I cannot imagine how they will overpower a grown man with an X-Man type hand. I do have significant financial holdings and get very regular erections. My genitals are extremely wrinkled but sizable. You will be pleased with much of the sex but some of it will leave you deeply disturbed. I do pay for my ladies' therapy if they choose that route even though therapy is bunk because science. Ben Gazy is also involved in this equation (mathematically speaking - which is a false science that discounts what Jesus did at the temple with the money changers). I also really enjoy human breast milk and will take as much of it from you as I can get out of you by whatever means necessary. Obstinance on this point is a deal breaker. I will suck your tits until they look like raisins and then I will not stop until the moment when I smile and ask for your sister or cousin's telephone contact number (so I can call her for breast milk).

The hairless ass weasel (a life form not currently noded) has somehow crossed the ocean (possibly as a stowaway on a Chinese freighter like James Bond and the Buzzcocks). It has been following us through the woods and the children have noticed. We stopped into a little pub and ordered some beers (I forced the children at knifepoint to shotgun seven beers) and the hairless ass weasel waited outside. It looked at us through the window with beady little eyes.

That fucker is not my friend. You are my friend. Please send money to Bavaria through Western Union and I will try to find an office. Send at least $10,000 each of you on everything2 website. This is for pain and suffering caused dating back to 2001. I am looking for a girlfriend. You have two choices with me, sending me ten grand or giving up your ass to me. Choose one. Think it over but choose one. I am waiting. In certain sexual positions you will be able to see my curiously attractive 80 plus year old man toes and you will be asked to suck on them. That is part of the ass giving up offer. The ten thousand is much more clear cut. If Western Union is not convenient for you, I also have PayPal (internet kiddie bank thing) and accept (and sometimes launder with a 40% cut) profits from conflict diamonds.

I have to fold up the laptop because we are being thrown out of the Bavarian beer stand because I gave beers to children. 

My friends.