Hello it is friend Behr back from recent legal matters and in my cabin in the woods near Utica with a stash of military grade weapons along with undead madman Enrico Fermi and friend Chopper who has the severed head of a fled noder in his possession The first person to guess correctly will get a discount on the offer I am now announcing at this very time.
Friend Behr is working on his new novel. You can get in on the payoffs when it is published by Random House after I write it. Millions can be made in this way. This is about a man who buys a Blackberry at Radio Shack in the year 2019. He goes out into the parking lot and proceeds to force the Blackberry up his ass all the way. He is really working it in, right out there in the parking lot. The words will jump right off the page and the reader will be able to relate as he grunt, groans, and bends in all different ways as disinterested onlookers having busy days glance over. The anus will open to full extent as this device moves deeper and deeper inside the aniferous canal.
This is just the idea for the first chapter. Other chapter will follow in numbered order. That is how it will work with this particular book. Much like Agatha Christie who wrote books while disguised as a woman for tax purposes. He will have the Blackberry all, and I do mean ALL the way up his ass and he will show discomfort at work and at home. Still, sitting down, he takes the opportunity to push down against the seat of the chair, squirming about even, as he works it ever deeper. This is the plot of the story. The ending will have a twist.
What I will need from you all are uncancellable checks for no less that $70,000 each to buy a share in this book. When it is published, each will get .002 percent of the net income from the sales of the book only. If you want a chance at movie rights, to see a famous actor working that phone all the way up there in IMAX, that opportunity is now $760,000 a share. Same percentages apply and expire two weeks after the movie's release date.
Do not miss out on opportunities. I am going into the imaging chamber and leaping into your sexual partner now. Tonight's sex will be extra good. It will have some Behr in it. You won't even know. But it will be better. I promise.
Sorry, Rico is telling me that I get into the quantum leap accelarator or something like that and the imaging chamber is where your lover will be while we do it while I am in his or her body. I can do man or woman role or temporary to the gay but no animals or children. I don't mind violence if you don't but I am better at it than you and have never felt remorse due to adopted father burning that part of my brain out with wires in 1937 Berlin. He was studying the effects of animals inside of people and if it made them into super soldiers. I was the only one to survive. This is why I make mistakes. Let me live with you. Let me sleep in your bed. Let me take any 16 items I want including people with me forever when I leave. Please. I need that.