One of the things that happens when you have your ass cheeks cut off by Antifa terrorists is that you have problems sitting down.
Today I went to a special store for special people run by a staff of sweaty men with horn-rimmed glasses. I was there to purchase special underwear that comes with padding designed for people who have had their butt cheeks cut off by the Antifa and other organizations with nefarious purposes. I had to have a fitting, during which this special employee seemed keen on touching me in ways that had nothing to do with making sure my underpants fit properly. It made me very uncomfortable, so I ended up buying a dozen pairs of special underpants without having them fitted first. As a result of this, my substitute ass cheeks slide around a lot whenever I'm sitting. Once or twice there was enough slipping and sliding that I fell right on the floor. That is something that can be very dangerous for a sexually aggressive ninety-year-old man.
So, I am adjusting to these setbacks, but I will overcome them. I've already been looking for non-science based ways to grow back my butt cheeks and have contacted a gentleman I met on Twitter who says he invented a paste made up of beet root and cabbage leaves that he believes will encourage my ass cheeks to grow back.
I will not under ANY circumstances allow practitioners of any form of the false science of science near my ass. I have principles.