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One of the things your friend Behr acquired in Bavaria in 1878 that he he share with you at the end of this leap through quantum is something called "Magical Emotions" which are emotions that are magical. I acquired them from the elves who were once superfluous in this forest before the heavy industry and the curse of climate change (which I am a warrior on behalf of). Normally I despise elves. Filthy little shits. But this time they had goods to offer for sale or trade, which won me over because I am a famous businessman. I have done a lot of business with many businesses over the years, from when I sold vacuum cleaners to people at gunpoint in the 1970s, through my tenure as CEO of Civil War Action Figures, Ltd., and onward through my work in beating the absolute shit out of the sick and elderly and repurposing their medications with street merchants. So, this was a way to win me over for sure. I am a maker of deals and a singer of songs that save the environment and stomp out the accursed climate change deniers that I detest so much.

I have sent a lot of souvenirs home from this time period and I will be selling them, with the starting aution price being $70,000 in the form of uncancellable check. You need to send me more of these. I've only gotten four in total, and three of those were from an elderly woman doctor. Send more of these uncancellable checks soon. I'm living on the lam.

Well, I may have more later, but I have a solar charger on my laptop (only way to charge in this time period apparently) and the sun has been down a while. If I don't publish this award winning piece soon I could power down with no respite until tomorrow.

My frien

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