Does anyone have any money?
I was arrested two days ago by Obama-era FBI agents. This happened after an uprising amongst my forced labor camp bastards, led by some dickhead who said he wanted to form a union and demand "better treatment and actual wages." I lured him into my supervisory shack, gutted him, called a taxidermist who is available "on call" who stuffed him so I could put him out front as a warning to others. "Back to the mines, jackasses!" I said. Two did not comply, so I ordered my militia men to open fire, killing them three times each.
And apparently some Obama-era FBI agents were watching my operation and moved in. They took me and my militia men into custody and froze all my bank accounts.
I need someone to post the $2,000 bail required to keep me from spending another night in jail. I've already had to garrote three cellmates to keep them away from my laptop.
Please hurry. My workers have been "freed" and my livestock trucks are being disassembled as we speak. This is a TRAVESTY of justice. A real travesty of justice.