Babies are saying ‘mama’ for the first time, satellites are spinning around the planet, locusts are planning another raid, coal is turning into diamond, doctors are saving lives and their Sundays for golf, America is bombing some more poor people, worms are turning into butterflies, novels are being marketed like movies, paintings are staring at a basement wall somewhere in London, stars are burning up, capitalism is murdering farmers, arteries are clogging up, a species of fern is about to disappear forever, hairlines are receding, a fart is spreading inside a room, people are feeling lonely, a malignant tumour is turning up, a turtle is getting named as Coco, lightning is frying a tree, politicians are lying to other politicians, bulls are being castrated, beer is being pissed down the toilets of a million pubs, trophies are being won, someone’s wife is fucking someone’s husband, philosophies are being torn down, newspapers are being used as beds, nails are getting manicured, blondes are being favoured, hymens are being ruptured, prayers are being answered, UFOs are being spotted, anti-fur activists are having chicken for lunch, windows are being cleaned, global warming is becoming a political USP, a volcano is waking up, the Pope is feeling threatened by Harry Potter, little girls are being sold, Pink Floyd is planning one last tour, a cigarette is taking its toll, a railway station is being renamed after a dead person, an old mother is feeling ignored, terrorism is now a big-budget Hollywood movie, someone’s favourite restaurant is becoming a Macdonald’s franchisee, a baby gazelle is being snacked on by a baby lion, a beautiful woman is ignoring a man, servers are crashing, birthdays are being forgotten, a rumour is spreading, a poet is searching for a word that rhymes with ‘history’, the postman is going the way of the dinosaur and words are being read off computer screens.

 

 

Rewind and then hit ‘Play’ again.

 

 

Sigh.

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