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Long John Silver's is a restaurant. It's a fast food restaurant, and it gets better... It's a fast, sea-food restaurant. I've had a couple of friends who ended up working there, and, like all fast food places that I've heard "stories from behind the counter" about, I don't eat there if at all possible.

One good thing about this fast food place of doom is that, by serving sea-food, they also sell HUSH PUPPIES!!!I'm not sure that anything could be better than that. A personal dream of mine is now to get a job at Long John's, and to create, on an off day, when the stock is too high, or when I'm looking to lose my job... the biggest hush puppy that I can. I want a hush puppy the size of my head. I want a hush puppy the size of the fryer. I want the largest hush puppy possible, I want a hush puppy that is working towards it's destiny with zeal and fucking moxy.

Once made, there are an amazing number of things I could do with a gigantic hush puppy. I could carve off the bottom and wear it as a hat. I could sell pieces of it on the street. I could carve it into a Jack O' Puppy. I could scream, "By the Power of Long John, I am the master of the hush puppy! I could roll it down Bourbon street, thus feeding the homeless hang-abouts and doing something nutty at the same time. My all time favorite thing to do with it though, wasn't thought of by me. A friend suggested that I go to a frat party, and have a drinking/eating contest with freshmen who were already beyond crocked, you challenge them to a hush puppy eating contest, and then hand them the mega puppy, and chow on normals yourself. Make sure you get them to agree to a cash bet! And laugh yourself sober, all the way to the bank!

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