Is the mullet of the 2010s.

Much like the full hipster beard was the mullet of the 2000s, the man bun, that singularly unlovely hairstyle that screams "pseud!" out of every last keratinised fibre of its being, is a hairdo that should be worn by nobody. Unless, of course, you're an actual samurai, but that was more of a topknot so that doesn't count really because their hair was long all over and pulled into a topknot throughout.

A man bun is made when a gentleman shaves his hair at the sides and lets it grow long (well, sort of long, not headbanger long) on top, upon where he gathers up the long bits and ties them in a doubled-back ponytail. Imagine the shape of a hernia but made out of hair. Kit Harington, Gareth Bale, and various other people allegedly have man buns. Needless to say, it looks ridiculous, like the mullet, and combines the worst aspects of long hair with the worst aspects of short hair, much like the mullet. There's also a sniff of a far-fetched appeal to some ancient warrior tradition, just like the mullet - mulletheads claimed that theirs was the do of Vikings and Mongols, while man bun wearers claim it's the do of samurai. Indeed, the Wikipedia page on the man bun claims this very point and gets more than a little defensive about it so I can only assume it was written by a man bun wearer.

The difference is though the type of idiot person who would have a mullet vs the type who would have a man bun. Whereas the mullet was associated with rednecks and the rural working classes in the United States, the man bun is associated with hipster and actors. Luvvies and pseuds, in other words, which is why the whole samurai connotation exists, because it makes them look more cultured. The fact that your average man bun wearer is more likely to be found wielding a juicer than a katana is, of course, totally immaterial.

In any event, that's all there is to say about this ridiculous hairdo. Other than this - I bet you £10.00 that in twenty years time Gareth Bale and Kit "You knurr nuthing, Jon Snurrrrr" Harington will look back at their man bun wearing selves and cringe hard enough to shake the earth.


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