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Mixed Nuts: A Cautionary Tale

You take a load of weasels
you put 'em in your pants
you rile them fuckers up
and you do a little dance
when they commence to biting
you shriek just like a girl
you shake the weasels out
as your vision starts to swirl

grab your shredded privates
and faint from loss of blood
a crowd gathers around ya
as you lay there in the mud
wake up with the devil
in his fancy leather shoes
buy the man some coffee
and he might sing you the blues.

but Hell aint hot and fiery
the way some people say
it's filled with single mothers
and they just might look your way
so polish up your codpiece
and tie your girdle tight
cause I've got a funny feeling
you wont sleep alone tonight

and dont feel shy or timid
cause a weasel clawed your balls
these women want you for your mind
and not just for booty calls
the prosthetics here are plentiful
and fit just like a glove
so strap on your plastic mantool (tm)
and show the damned some love

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