The sordid tale begins back in 2003, when the experimental colony known as Everything, Kansas went belly-up and 863 noder lives were lost.

During the FBI investigation of the failed colony and the loss of life that followed, a number of freight containers, the kind that eighteen-wheelers drag around all the time, were discovered in the desert of innermost Utah. These two events were at first seen as having absolutely nothing to do with each other. And then the bodies were discovered. Not so much bodies, but piles of bones buried under rocks in innermost Utah. It was shocking, even to seasoned FBI agents (who were on the scene).

Flash forward to a dinner party in Reston, Virginia in the summer of 2007. Several men, wearing nothing but swim trunks, are eating oysters together. One of them was a former noder. He was about to turn state's evidence in regards to the Everything, Kansas debacle. He had been found to have been in several of the freight containers. His DNA was found there. He had agreed to turn over the names of the owners of the containers in return for a lighter sentence in court. The former noder went to the toilet. He ended up with a bullet in the back of his head. No one saw anyone coming or going from the party, but the guys were pretty drunk, and wearing nothing but swim trunks (and a LOT of smiles ALL AROUND). No one else was killed or threatened in any way. The FBI continues to follow up on this.

Other evidence was found in 2012 that led the FBI directly to the owners of the containers. They were running an outfit up in the West Virginia woods under the name West Virginia White Pride, which they were fiinancing by selling handbags in Far East markets. They were shut down for the whole concept of their organization, but no one could figure out how they ended up in the hangbag business until they had an interesting conversation with one of the people who was extremely proud of being white (despite poor overall hygiene). It turns out that they were using the containers, placed in the deserts of innermost Utah, to cook people. They would stuff the containers, which were metal with no lining of any kind, with naked people, stacked like cord wood. They would bake in those containers under the hot sun. Those on the bottom and the sides would have their flesh singed off their bodies like so much waste paper. After several weeks, they would open the containers and find half-eaten (they had turned on each other for food as they cooked) corpses with leathery flesh. That leathery flesh was fashioned into handbags and sold for big money in the Far East markets.

They had to investigate further. This tale was a whopper, to say the least!

Phil Geritol, the captured white man, told them he had proof in some films that were being kept in a vault somewhere in the basement of an old hotel in downtown Wichita. Agents were dispatched and some of them made it to the vault. They burst it open with FBI encryption technology and found the films as reported.

"Watching these films was like seeing the absolute milk of human cruelty put on graphic display in a film of such questionable quality that you have to wonder why it looks like a 70s porno. We watched them raid the encampment at Everything, Kansas, where these miserable nerds were freezing to death and starving because they'd forgotten food and warm clothing in lieu of Dungeons & Dragons modules and Star Trek toys. We watched them take the nerds prisoner, drive them out to innermost Utah, and shove them naked into these trailers where they were slow-roasted over a period of weeks, during which the nerds eagerly ate of each other's seared flesh. The horrors we witnessed on these tapes was ungodly."

--Leonid Brehxnique, FBI Kansas City Field Office


"The handbags we recovered are slowly being identified as a series of deceased noders. If you lost a noder, please contact the Tokyo Field Office of FBI-JBZ Joint Operations Task Force."

A lot of people think that if answers don't come after forty-eight hours, there is little to no hope answers will ever be found. As we see here, sometimes crimes take decades to solve.


Thanks to the Kansas City Field Office of the FBI, my mother, and my research assistant Peter

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