Obligatory hospital wing chapter

To wake in the arms of her beloveds – always, these days, she woke with a sense of treasure. What more could she desire?

She could desire that she were able to wake at her own schedule, and actually in their arms this time, so that she could snuggle into them and feel content a moment – instead of being shaken awake roughly. She could also desire that it were in her own bed, as opposed to, as Sparrow now saw as she looked about her, a rather cramped bed of the hospital wing. They were certainly not designed to hold three people.

She could also desire that the dawn light was not quite so bright, and that her wand was in her hand, and that she was reciting the dawn incantation, instead of simply sitting here, sluggish and groggy. She looked about for her wand.

"Here," whispered Jill, pressing the wand into her hand. "Recite. Come on, quickly."

Sparrow gripped the wand clumsily, pointed its tip at her heart, and whispered, "Amato animo animato animagus."

She did not feel anything happening.

"Oh good," said Madame Abbot, as she came towards the three, "you’re finally awake. You exhausted your magical core, dear. I don’t think you’re going to be doing any magic for a few days."

Sparrow felt the blood drain from her face.

"Madame Abbot," whispered Jocasta, "we can’t – she has to be able to do a little magic, that’s – she’s got a bit she needs to recite every dawn, or else –"

"I wonder what you could possibly be referring to," whispered Madame Abbot, as she flicked her wand towards the entrance to the hospital wing. The doors closed with an echoing click. Madame Abbot moved closer. "This business must be something I’ve never heard of before," she murmured. "But don’t you worry, I know my oaths for medical confidentiality."

Jill grimaced. "We have to be a bit better about keeping that quiet."

"I am your healer while you are students here," said Madame Abbot. "As with any student, you are free to take any medical trouble to me, where it will remain a safe secret. My only request, in this case, is that you permit me to monitor Sparrow’s condition in the days following the ritual. One can suffer odd effects from being struck by lightning. Deal?"

Sparrow shuddered, and she was not sure if it was from delight or fear. But there was the more pressing matter. The dawn was growing brighter. "Madame Abbot, if there’s anything you have that can quickly revive an exhausted core –"

"Only rest," whispered Abbot. "I am sorry, Sparrow. It may be that you have to start the entire process over again."

All over again, another month of silence, another month of a liquid diet, another month of her tastebuds being numbed with foul bitterness. All because Sparrow had been so damned reckless.

"There might actually be one thing," whispered Jill. She looked sheepish.

"Tell," said Sparrow.

"It’s, um…"

"Please," said Jocasta. "We haven’t a moment to spare. What is it?."

Jill’s face was flushed. She giggled nervously, her eyes downcast, before shyly meeting Sparrow’s gaze. ††††† Library trick. †††††

Sparrow nodded eagerly.

"Why didn’t I think of that," whispered Jocasta. "Madame Abbot, if you could give us some privacy?"

Madame abbot raised an eyebrow. But she said nothing. She raised her wand and tapped a spot on the wall behind the bed, causing a rod bearing curtains to extend out of the wall and wrap around the bed all the way to the other side.

"Go on," whispered Jocasta. "Do it quick. We’ve got a few minutes left."

Sparrow threw herself at Jill, her tongue in Jill’s mouth nearly as quickly as their lips met.

And so the two of them were lost within each other, and Sparrow felt a fire spreading through her bones – through her heart, through her veins. The previous evening, Jill had been careful to pull back before burning Sparrow out; this time she was not holding back at all.

"Enough," whispered Jocasta. "Enough, come on."

With Jill it could never be enough.

"I said enough!"

Sparrow jerked her head back as she felt a sharp pain on her earlobe. She turned to Jocasta. "Girl, what the hell? Did you just bite me?"

"Emergency measures," whispered Jocasta. "Now, recite."

Sparrow pointed her wand at her her heart once more, and recited the incantation.

It was a little difficult to feel anything happening – what was prickling through her soul felt much like the static prickles of nerves returning to function after one’s leg fell asleep. But though the touch was faint and distant, it was there. Sparrow let her arm fall, and the three of them breathed a collective sigh of relief, falling against each other.

"Children," whispered Madame Abbot, "are you decent in there? May I remove the curtain now?"

"Fine," said Jocasta, "we’re alright, go ahead."

Madame Abbot drew the curtain aside. "You’re doing alright? I am curious – though my sense of professional curiosity is warring with my sense of decency and propriety. When I permitted the three of you to not only stay with each other in the hospital wing, but sleep in the same bed, I thought it was simply that having one’s dearest friends close would speed recovery. But I can see now that you three are quite a bit more intimate than that."

Sparrow’s face felt hot. "Er, Madame Abbot –"

"Perhaps," continued Madame Abbot, "when you three are of age, you might be willing to elucidate what it was you did to solve Sparrow’s problem? In the meantime, I strongly recommend that you seek me for medical advice regarding protection. You are of an age when people begin considering such things, and you should feel free to ask your elders for advice, regardless of embarrassment."

Jocasta was blushing furiously. "Really, that’s not –"

"Don’t try to put one over on me," said Madame Abbot. "I deal with this issue all the time at this school. Far too many couples who argue against the idea of protection. You had better not even think of trying that with me."

Jill was laughing. "Oh my goodness, no, Madame Abbot, we certainly didn’t go that far!"

"That’s next year’s curriculum," mumbled Jocasta.

Madame Abbot raised an eyebrow. "Curriculum? Did I hear that right?"

"Let me put it this way," said Sparrow. "When we actually get into that, I am certain that our resident sex nerd here – " she elbowed Jocasta – "will be looking up all the proper potions and spells without even asking at the hospital wing. Goodness knows she’s found at least one book that seems to be teaching her a lot. I hadn’t expected anything like it would be in the library, but –"

"It’s from home," said Jocasta.

Jill’s eyes were wide, and her grin spread across her face. "Did you raid your father’s collection of naughty books?"

Jocasta shook her head. "He has no such collection. My study guide, so to speak, was…" She huffed. "It was given to me, specifically, by my Father. When I was eleven. You know how Wizarding culture is about these things, Jill, we don’t exactly get a chance to say no to this sort of thing...unless we are extremely strong-willed and ice-cold, like a certain person I know."

"I am well aware," said Madame Abbot, her face grim. She put a hand on Jocasta’s shoulder. "And I will tell you what I try to impress upon everyone. You are not required, by Heaven or earth, to produce children. No matter what anyone says, no matter what law anyone makes, it is your discretion, and yours alone."

"Even if we need to keep the Wizarding population up?" said Jocasta.

"Any culture that puts such pressure on teenagers is highly suspect at best," said Madame Abbot. She glanced at the open door. "You might not want to tell anyone I said that much, though. Anyway – back to the relevant matter. Jocasta, would you please demonstrate for me the diagnostic spell?"

Jocasta grabbed her wand from the bedside table and pointed it at Sparrow’s heart. Perhaps it was a sign of Sparrow’s inherent trust in the girl that she did not flinch from what would be considered, from anyone else, an extremely aggressive wand position. And indeed, what came out of it was not a curse, but a cone of green light – and all it did was make Sparrow’s insides tingle, a little. Just a tickle.

She shivered as Jocasta released the spell.

"Good form," said Madame Abbot. "What did you learn?"

"Core glowing brighter than the usual level of homeostasis," said Jocasta, "slightly shaky, otherwise solid, no impurities...but...I don’t think I’ve...Sparrow, do you mind if I scan you again?"

Sparrow frowned. "Um. Go ahead?"

Once more the cone of green light passed over Sparrow’s sternum, causing her insides to tremble, just a little – it was a little more this time.

Jocasta released the spell again. She was looking quite confused. "So I’ve scanned a few cores here," she murmured, "but really don’t remember seeing anything like what I just saw. Is a magical core supposed to be wrapped in tightly in thin bands of grey? The thing honestly looks like a glowing crystal of gold, wrapped all iron, except the iron is showing cracks – have you ever seen such a thing?"

Madame Abbot looked disturbed. "I...yes, I have, but only within one other person...and I keep sending an owl to Ivy begging to let me examine him, but she keeps saying it’s too dangerous. Granted, the description of |Gianveer’s current condition sounds terribly tangled in all sorts of magic. But you, Sparrow...would you permit me to scan you myself?"

Sparrow nodded slowly.

Once more a cone of green light passed over Sparrow’s sternum, and her shoulders shuddered, now. Madame Abbot released the spell after just a few seconds. "Yes, there are the grey bands, there are the cracks – you missed something though, Jocasta. Easy to miss if you only have so much practice with this spell. The filaments connecting to the top of the crystal – very thin filaments extending beyond sight. Bright red, deep green, warm orange, what looks either white or purple or both, icy blue...that, I certainly have not seen before." She looked at Jocasta. "I have a hunch about this, though. Jocasta, may I scan you?"

Jocasta frowned. "My core is fine?"

"That remains to be seen," said Madame Abbot.

"Alright alright," said Jocasta. "Go on then."

Madame Abbot cast a cone of green light over Jocasta’s sternum, causing a surprised and curious look to come to the girl’s face. Madame Abbot released the spell, then turned to Jill. "Miss Patil, may I?"

Jill looked intrigued. She nodded silently.

Now the cone of green light was passing over Jill’s sternum – almost immediately being jerked away, as Madame Abbot nearly dropped her wand. "Good heavens, Jill, I could barely make out anything, you’re some kind of magical furnace in there! I daresay I have an idea of where Sparrow’s swift core restoration came from, even if I cannot ask exactly what the method was! How are you holding all that in?"

Jill regarded Madame Abbot with a grim expression. "Am I? Are any of us?"

"Not really," mumbled Sparrow.

"This may be a medical matter," said Madame Abbot. "A magical and a medical matter. I might need to do some research to figure out how best to handle this. In the meantime...I would like to be able to monitor your cores for any changes. Jocasta, will you be my aid in this? If you are able to do the monitoring and report back to me, I will not need to have your friends – excuse me, girlfriends – come in every day."

"Check everyone," said Sparrow. "It’s the whole crew bursting at the seams."

Jocasta saluted. "Aye, captain."

"Well," said Madame Abbot, "At the very least, your immediate problem has been resolved handily." She eyed Jocasta. "Should I be asking how that particular restoration was accomplished? Speaking as a medical professional, I might appreciate knowing how to do it so quickly, if what you tell me is appropriate for an adult to hear."

Jill giggled. "We live fast, don’t we?"

"Hopefully we don’t die young," muttered Sparrow.

"Jocasta could sure leave a good-looking corpse though," said Jill.

Jocasta tossed her hair behind her ear. "That is without doubt. As to answer your question, Madame Abbot, um...do you ever feel especially fired up after a good long kiss?"

Madame Abbot looked annoyed. "That is quite an impertinent question from a student, much less a special student of mine, Miss Carrow."

"Duly noted," said Jocasta. "As for Jill, well, from my experiences, kissing her too long leaves me with too much magic, so full of energy is she. So if Sparrow had none…"

"I sure as hell got my boiler stoked," said Sparrow.

"But that might not actually help anyone else restore their own magic," said Jill. "We’re odd creatures, aren’t we? Coming from circumstances no one should replicate. We’ve all got too much magic, we’re all cracked...building pressure like boilers about to blow."

"Clearly," said Madame Abbot. "And I certainly do not plan to attempt to replicate it by your method. The idea of deliberately pouring magical energy into someone’s core, though, if that could be made safe in a more platonic manner...I should look into that."

At that moment, Professor Budge entered the hospital wing, making his way straight to Sparrow’s bedside. "Sparrow," he said, "it is good to see you are alive. After last night’s reckless idiocy."

Madame Abbot interposed herself. "Hermetray, you are most foolish for failing to knock before entering an infirmary."

Professor Budge shrugged. "The door was open."

Indeed, the door stood open, though none had heard or seen it happen. Madame Abbot narrowed her eyes at Budge, who looked innocent. "Let us pretend that you are simply falling out of good practice, Professor, and I will not banish you permanently from my domain. Now, what exactly was last night’s disaster? I have only been informed that Sparrow created a Patronus that overwhelmed her. How?"

Budge gave Sparrow a pointed look. "Yes, Miss Jones, would you like to explain exactly how?"

"I used the magical sign language," mumbled Sparrow, hanging her head.

"Excuse me?" said Budge. "What was that? Say it again so everyone else can hear, please."

"I used the Magical Sign Language! Okay?" She met Professor Budge’s stern gaze. "I fucked up again! I was a dumbass! I’ve learned my lesson! I will try to use the MSL safely from now on!"

"I do not think you have learned your lesson hard enough," said Budge. "You seem to believe that you will be doing anything with the MSL at all, which you should never have had access to in the first place. I thought I told Tim to put the book in a far better hiding place than the middle of the empty Forbidden Section. Honestly, that was like putting an apple on a table in front of Eve."

"The what?" said Madame Abbot.

"A highly exhausting, excessively risky and thankfully extremely rare mode of magic," growled Professor Budge. "I am fairly certain I know exactly why all those trees arose out of Hogsmeade. I told Gianveer that he was doing something stupid using that book, but oh no, he couldn’t leave his life’s work, could he? And now look where we are, a child with too much power at her disposal has fallen into the same trap Gianveer did. Sparrow, I am forbidding you to check out that book again, and specially forbidding you to do anything with the MSL. Do you understand?"

"Hang on," said Sparrow, "I need that book to teach sign language!"

"You what?"

Sparrow realized what mistake she’d just made as Jill and Jocasta gave her angry glares.

"Excuse me," said Budge. "What are you intending to do with that book?"

None of the children dared speak.

"I could dock your houses each fifty points," said Budge. "Out with it."

Sparrow raised her eyebrows briefly. Fifty points was nothing compared to what Filch had already taken from her. But she wasn’t going to let all that slip. "It was...I offered to do a weekly extra class, sort of a club, teaching people sign language, using the MSL textbook as a teacher’s guide for lesson plans."

"And?"

"And that’s...shit, I can’t get anything by you can I?" Sparrow laughed nervously. "I offered to help everyone learn the MSL. Not that they could get it very easily! Don’t worry about that, it’s only people like me and my friends and...apparently Gianveer Ollivander...that find it dangerous. It’s not something that works unless you already know sign language fluently. But I have effectively promised many that they would learn something new."

Professor Budge looked deeply disturbed. "You are...not only offering this information to other children, but stuck in a promise to do so."

"Excuse me for wanting to give a Deaf kid a chance!" said Sparrow. "Unlike everyone else in this school!"

"Yes yes," said Budge, "that’s utterly characteristic of you. As for me giving you a chance, I need to consider whether I ought to actually bring you or your friends along to deal with Hogsmeade. You have demonstrated your willingness to be utterly reckless, which is what I don’t need. I will take some time to decide. In the meantime – you are not to touch that book again, and if you are suffering the consequences of being unable to fulfill an excessive promise, I should hope you learn your lesson from it."

"What I’m learning here," said Sparrow, "is that you’re withholding information and trying to do everything yourself. You won’t let me learn the MSL and you tell me you’ll handle whatever’s going on down in France alone."

"I have graciously considered letting you and your friends help me with Hogsmeade," said Budge. "Be content with that. Good day." He turned and swept out of the room.

Sparrow’s core had been restored. But in that moment, she felt very much as though it had been diminished again. She had horrified and then severely disappointed the professor whose opinion of her she valued most.

But then, why didn’t he explain the existence of the book to her? What was so bad about the MSL itself, if only a few people would have it blow up in their face? And to take information from her, instead of helping her use it safely – that wasn’t what a teacher was supposed to do. He wasn’t being fair at all. In fact, he wasn’t being him at all. He was always interested in having Sparrow help him push the boundaries of magic – yet not now?

And he hadn’t actually forbade Sparrow from teaching anyone the bits of MSL she knew. What was Budge up to?

Madame Abbot was out in the hall, her aggravated conversation with Budge half-audible from where Sparrow sat. Jill was looking disturbed, and Jocasta, perplexed.

"I don’t understand," said Jocasta. "Why didn’t he keep the book, if it’s dangerous? Why would he return it to the library?"

"One does not anger a librarian," said Jill.

"So what are we going to do?" said Jocasta.

…

Four children stood before the Forbidden Section. Its door was left unlocked again.

"The hell is this?" said Jill.

"It’s too easy," said Sparrow.

"We’re not even sure the book is going to be in there," said Jocasta.

"I can certainly find out," said Iphis. "Everyone cover your ears again –"

"Absolutely not," said Sparrow, whirling around and glaring up at Iphis. "You are either not going to use that nonsense, or you’re going to tell me exactly what the hell it’s about. Pick one now. That is an order."

Iphis looked affronted. "You’re going to prevent me from using all tools at my disposal?"

"Not that I need to second an order," said Jocasta, glaring down at Iphis, "but if you’re using magic that causes wounds that I cannot heal, you’re playing with fire."

"Why can’t I just –"

"That’s an order, Midshipman Brown." Sparrow stamped her foot, not making much of a sound, but hopefully getting the point across.

"Okay okay!" Iphis put up his hands. "I won’t use it then. I have a good guess of exactly where the book is, I just wanted to be absolutely certain. Also." he crossed his arms. "I find it odd that you’re forbidding me from using my dangerous magic when you just roped me into retrieving your dangerous forbidden magic. Which, I should note, has harmed you to a greater extent than mine has harmed me."

"I – " Sparrow paused, finding no answer for this.

"It’s only dangerous for us," said Jill. "Your stuff, though, it’s probably dangerous for everyone. Come on, let’s get moving."

And so the four of them made their way forward, through the near-empty stacks, following Iphis’ directions. Precisely the same way they went as last time, with just the same feeling that everything was too quiet. The only sound was Iphis casting spells behind them under his breath. Leaving a trail of breadcrumbs, as he said.

And then – there was the MSL textbook, right on the shelf where it had been, in just the same position.

"This can’t be real," said Jill.

"This is obviously a trap," said Jocasta.

"Well it was a trap last time," said Iphis.

"No," said Sparrow. "I mean, yes, it’s a trap, it’s always going to be a trap. It needs to be. It’s kayfabe."

"Kay-what?" said Jill and Jocasta simultaneously.

"Someone’s putting on a show?" said Iphis.

"Plausible deniability," said Sparrow. "Tim doesn’t want people to think he let us have this. And...maybe Budge too. His condemnation didn’t make perfect sense. And he returned this thing to the library, knowing Tim would put it back where it had been...maybe knowing we would immediately go after it. Which means...there is a danger here, with this thing, and it’s not magical."

"Political?" said Jocasta. "Who doesn’t want us to have this thing?"

"The same assholes who don’t want us to have anything," said Sparrow. "The Ministry. Something about this book is dangerous to them."

"Well yeah," said Iphis. "Kinda hard to expel underage Wizards if you can’t take away their magic."

"Nothing for it then," said Jocasta. "We might as well grab this the book and...wind up fighting our way out of here again...I mean I’m not opposed to playing sniper but I wish there was another way."

"Yeah," said Sparrow. "Last time I killed multiple books. I’m still down about it."

"Killed?" said Jill. "I don’t think these things are fully alive."

"What?"

"The levitation spell only works on non-living creatures," said Jill. "For living things you need to use Levicorpus. The only reason I used the stunning spell the first time we went up against these things is I didn’t want to destroy so many books and get banned from the library forever. These things are constructs. They have feelings, but they’re not actually –"

"Dammit, Jill, if they have feelings they’re alive!" Sparrow shot her hand out and grabbed the book. Immediately there was a great rustling and hissing and skittering. "See, they’re angry with us." The rustling swiftly grew louder. "I bet they’re gonna come at us even –"

Sparrow’s words were cut off as she was immediately yanked off her feet by an unseen spell, shooting through the air back down the way they’d come.

Right towards the seething mass of snapping and snarling books. All Sparrow could do was desperately brandish her wand and cast her shield in a bubble about herself –

Which immediately cut off the effect of the yanking spell, dropping her to the ground. Which might have afforded her a chance to stand her ground and re-assess her situation. Except that her shield bubble was spherical, which meant that, instead of stopping, she was sent rolling forward with near as much momentum as before.

The effect on the mass of books was similar to the pins of ninepin bowling. Books flying everywhere. Poor things, Sparrow thought as she rolled and tumbled end over end; they had suffered so much from her presence this year. She would never expect them to forgive her.

And then she was far beyond them, soon thumping hard into the wall at the very end of the stacks, bouncing back a ways, slowly rolling to a stop – she dismissed the shield spell a little early and stumbled in her terrible dizziness, falling to the ground in a clatter of knees and elbows and pain.

The image of a humanoid figure made of flame flashed into her mind. ††††† Sparrow! Where are you? †††††

⋄⋄End of the aisle. I’m mostly fine. You? ⋄⋄

††††† Fighting your way. †††††

Sparrow was seeing a great many flashes of red light far in the distance, each one briefly casting a seething mass of books in silhouette – a mass that was steadily drawing closer to her.

Which likely meant the rest of the mobs, having not been bowled straight through, were also gunning straight for her. Sparrow had about half a second to realize what that meant as she was suddenly surrounded by books beyond counting, their collective hissing nearly deafening her before she was able to throw up her shield spell in a cylinder about her. Their paper claws and paper teeth scratched and scraped at the golden light.

It was the book, her book, that the others were looking for. The trap had not been set by complex magic, but by the emotions of the construct-books about her. They were trying to get her to stop kidnapping their last non-violent companion. Their last innocent friend.

"Alright alright!" shouted Sparrow. "If I just...if I leave this book in here, will you all let me consult it now and then? Maybe take notes?"

All the books fell silent, backing away from the cylinder. Sparrow let her shield spell go. The stacks were cast into darkness. "There," she said, "I’ll just go and put this back. Okay?" She took a tentative step forward, hoping the books would make way – they did, hissing a little bit, as if reluctant. "Don’t worry," said Sparrow, "I keep my promises."

One of the books jumped up, knocking the MSL textbook out of Sparrow’s hands. The book fell onto a number of other books – who immediately lifted it up on their backs and bore it away.

The rest of the books, though, remained where they were, their pages and covers angled up at her as if they had unseen eyes upon her. Still some hissing. There was something else they needed. Sparrow took a deep breath. "I’m really sorry," she said. "I’m sorry for barging into your space, I’m sorry for attacking you, I’m sorry for killing some of you. I might have been able to read some of you, if I hadn’t been a jerk. I’ll ask you if I can use the MSL textbook from now on. I will stop treating you like the Ministry treated you."

This at last satisfied the books, which all scurried away back into whatever stacks kept them.

And there were her friends, at last, looking bewildered at the sight of the books retreating willingly.

There was Jill, swiftly sweeping her into a fierce embrace. "Again and again," said Jill, "you meet peril and I am not there to save you."

"I’m really sorry," said Sparrow with a somewhat muffled voice.

"I should be sorry," said Iphis. "I set up that lifeline charm without telling any of you what it was supposed to do. We were supposed to all link arms and get yanked together. But before I could explain...well, I should have explained at the outset."

"It’s fine," said Sparrow. She looked around at the stacks. More of them bad books on them now. "I think this might have been a better outcome anyway."

The children departed the library feeling terribly sheepish, and worse, without anything tangible to show for their efforts, when Wren and Miranda met them outside the Room of Requirement. But then, when Wren took Iphis’ hand, that was tangible enough, and as Jill had held tight to Sparrow’s hand the whole way, that was tangible as well – Miranda’s faint smile was tangible in its own way, so rare was it that all present practically felt its impact.

She could take some comfort, then, in knowing that small setbacks and twists of fortune were hardly enough to estrange her friends from each other. The bonds her crew had forged were too strong for that.

But how they would be tested by storm-tossed seas – that remained to be seen.

…

To drift to sleep in the arms of her beloveds – always, these days, she rested with a sense of treasure.

"Sparrow," whispered Jill.

"Mm?"

"All that you have been through in so few days, when I have been there and not – it is difficult to bear."

"Mm. I’m sorry. I know it must be."

"What you don’t know," whispered Jocasta, "is that many of Jill’s nightmares involve losing you."

"How...how do you know?"

_{• I HAVE JOURNEYED THROUGH THEM. •}

_{††††† SPARROW. I AM WILLING TO LET YOU ENTER MY DREAMS FULLY, IF YOU ARE WILLING. IF YOU THINK YOU CAN STAND YOUR GROUND. I CAN TRY TO SHOW YOU WHAT LIES BEHIND THE DOOR. †††††}

_{⋄⋄THAT SOUNDS LIKE A CHALLENGE. LET ME IN, THEN⋄⋄}

And so the three of them at last let their bodies rest, knowing their souls had a different fate, this night.