PR makes me want to be
sick sometimes, especially
IT/
Computer/
Software type PR. I
moonlight as an IT PR Firm for a software company.
(It's fun to be your own company!--"I'll have my secretary get right on that", I'll say. Then I'll tell myself to do it.)
It can really be
a gruesome experience. Essentially,
I write things that no one understands. The product press releases have
only the vaguest relationship to the actual product being released, and are written in
a language barely related to english.
Stilted,
awkward, and filled with
randomly generated IT-speak, these are some real
stinkers.
Everyone and their brother gets a cut on the press releases that I write, even some guy on the
board of directors. In
an ideal world, they would take what I write and
improve it--maybe even turn it into english!
This is not an ideal world.
Below is a list of suggested changes to my future press releases, suggested by the Board of directors guy. He produced it to prevent having to just go through and change all this stuff every time. Read, and enjoy:
Was Should be
Solution Best of breed solution,
or creative solution
Advantage Competitive advantage
Chosen Selected
Technology Proprietary technology
Platform, Functionality Robust platform,
or robust functionality,
also multi-dimensional platform
Use Efficient use
We, Our {Company Name}
Customer State the name
Competing Products Lesser competing products
Produce Produce effectively
Notice that nothing has been made shorter or more simple.
Less is more doesn't work here,
baby!
Sure, some of this stuff is a good idea, but "
best of breed solution"? Eeeeewwww.
Nasty.