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To quote an Anonymous Coward from Slashdot (November 06, @04:01PM EST):

I always provide BOGUS information on all registration forms. Look at my copy of win98, on the 'about' box it says "This software is registered to: The Public Domain". Hey! They gave me a fill in the blank SW license. This is like an already signed blank check so I filled in the name with 'the public domain'. Other software is registered to "Nobody", "Unknown User", "John Doe", and "The Bearer". And yeah, my purchase role is 'final decision' on all purchases for my company of 500,000 employees. Wheee!! And I buy over $1e6 worht of computer products every year. Oh and if they want addresses and phone numbers and email, I plug in the company's own street address, phone number, and sales@, or info@, webmaster@, or root@ at the comapnies own domain name. This isn't a court of law or legal proceeding here so there's no penalty of perjury for lying. I happily make up all sorts of stuff! And if my lies fsck up the co's statistics then that's too fscking bad. Do I have a 'right to privacy'? No, but by that same token, companies have no 'right to collect accurate marketing information about me.' Works both ways, ya know.

In short, bogus registration information is established as an important act of consumer disobedience against the unending quest by marketing weasels to profile you. This is encouraged by corporate monkeys for the sake of their bottom line.

See also: DoubleClick Master Database, opt-out.

Unfortunately this can backfire.

Having just changed addresses I thought that perhaps the best way to continue the embargo on my mortal enemy Ameritech would be to get a cell phone. It was a good plan, in theory.

After pricing the service from a few companies I happened to see a brick and mortar for one I hadn't checked out yet while at lunch. Dropping in I found that they were offering the unprecedented deal of $10 per month with a generous (well, for someone who doesn't make a lot of calls) number of minutes to go along with it. The attractive salesdroid convinced me that it would work in the area where my new house sat and I was ready to lay down cash on the spot.

Things were not to be so easy. The form I was handed required all sorts of information including my social security number (which I falsified by transposing two adjacent digits). I smugly passed the form back only to watch in horror as the droid began to perform some bizarre credit check ritual!

I had chosen to rent a heavily used cell phone manufactured in the early 90's with dimensions more suited to Fred Flintstone's universe than ours. So was the credit check against the possibility that I might steal this antique cell phone technology then run up a massive bill and refuse to pay? Isn't this what collection agencies are for?

Anyway, I interrupted the lovely droid's phone conversation with Equifax or the Illuminati or whoever it is that sits in dark smoky rooms and personally handles credit checks for cell phone stores. I told her that if she was going to perform a credit check she would need my correct social security number, which I provided while ignoring her brief glare of annoyance.

When all was said and done my credit was the same as it ever was: Nonexistant. I don't own a credit card and my only loans are from my education, my vehicle and my swinging bachelor pad. This was not suprising. What was suprising were the penalties for such a shocking lack of living beyond one's means: In order to purchase service from this cell phone company I would need to give them $400 above and beyond my initial payment. This money would be held by the company for a year after which it would be returned. What a fantastic offer! Do I get a reacharound with this butt fuck?

Upon returning to work I discovered that a cow orker's relative had attempted to purchase service with this same company only to be denied because he had just moved here from out of state. That he had been a customer in good standing with the same company in his previous state of residence made no difference.

And you wonder why there are people using the word 'nazi' unnecessarily.

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