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It's no secret that procrastination can be extremely fun, but if you don't control your laziness properly, the shit will hit the fan and you'll have no one to blame but yourself. So here's a beginner's guide to avoiding the aching feel of failure, which is probably all too familiar for some of us at this point.

The key to this whole method of structured laziness is the idea that you almost never want to be doing nothing. Any sufficiently lazy E2 noder will tell you that he'd rather write about monkey pants than finish that report for work, and to anyone that doesn't fit this profile (though I doubt there are many of you here), this may be a little confusing.

Given now that we usually want to be doing something, we simply have to figure out which slot in our proverbial "to-do" list is most often appealing. For those who have fully immersed themselves in the art of procrastination, this is invariably the very bottom of the list--the least important item.

All that's left now is to accept some horrendously menial yet still important tasks and place them towards the top of your list. Remove the items that were placed there as filler--such as writing that monkey pants node--and suddenly that business report looks a whole lot more enticing, at least when compared to those awful new tasks.

The only possible problem with this is that now you've got these awful, new responsibilties looming over your head. The ticket is to pick the right tasks. I'll offer one tip: It is of the utmost importance that the tasks you choose only appear to have meaning and importance externally.

Godspeed, you lazy bastard.

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