To infinity and beyond!

I knew I should've taken that left turn at Albuquerque.

Now where did I leave that detonator?

Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

I can't believe its not butter.

I'm not here right now, please leave a message after the beep.

Please delete my browser history.

If I could relive my life, I would relive it without you.

They invented a pill for men?!

If I could change one thing in my life, it would be the fact that I'm dying.

I still don't know what a hollaback girl is.

We're off to see the wizard, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz.

Why do I see flames at the end of the tunnel?

That's where I left my butt plug!

Pull my finger.

Let me tell you the secret to a happy life.

I was faking it every single time.

If only I had worn a condom...

If we ever manage to get to close to the supermassive black hole in the center of our galaxy, give my regards to your mom.

When all is said and done...

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'll soon be dead, but I'll still love you.

Well at least one part of me is experiencing rigor mortis already.

Was there always a demon standing behind you?

I'll tell you the rest when I get back.

If I could walk that way...

Knock knock.

I would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling kids.

I let the dogs out!

Oh man are you lucky the abortion clinic was closed that day.

Houston, we have a problem.

Cabin crew, prepare for takeoff.

Dude, I'm tripping so hard right now!

When the going gets tough, the tough get going.

Anyway, here's Wonderwall.

I wonder which one of you I'll haunt.

Ahahahahahaha, inheritance.

I wish I knew who you all are.

I'm sure you're all wondering why I've gathered you here today.

I must go now, my people need me.

I've seen your room under an ultraviolet light.

What am I doing with my life...

Ha, I was just playing dead!

I died on the inside a long time ago.

I'll always be with you, especially when you're undressing.

Inspired by sam512's writeup Incomplete two-word sentences with which to end your life.

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