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and i remember, how when the rain fell, catching softly the night's still and violent anticipation of things yet to be, wrapping all things unspoken, dreamt, felt mutally or alone into beads of moisture reflecting the darkness and various parts of ourselves (as if to create a perfect portrait for just one brief second before splattering with all the force of the universe becoming undone, most holy in that moment before final contact and last collapse)

.. .., ,, ,., ..,

oh, remembering these insignificant details, forgetting the most important--the look in your eyes, leaving all to be desired in the space above, around, and in between and, looking back, there was entirely too much space in between, the wish of the *stars* to never be forgotten in daylight or to be obscured by these vile, human efforts.

we were lost, marvelously so,
let us never be found where the sun can prove to us our inferiorities

and cause these thoughts to drown amongst greater realizations.


       you wake me up like cruel morning sun streaming too brightly into my bedroom window,
throwing shadows like young girls throw the petals of doomed flowers, wasted piles on the ground of various shades, each telling of its own lost love.


..lost, but you never found me, sought only to find yourself. and you looked like a broken child
with a million broken toys when you saw what you had done and how the stars refused to acknowledge your tears.


i think of you
like now
and attempt to remember you the way those beautiful stars saw you,
without the hinderance of emotions,
pasts, and expections to jade their eyes so full of brilliance .

some nights,
   --nights such as these when worlds are revealing themselves to be not always what they seem, & slightly every thought seems to fade--
i lie in my bed and stare up at the stars,

wishing for adhesive so strong that holds them in place to come packaged with all souls.

When I was a kid I bought a big set of glow-in-the-dark adhesive stars and decorated the ceiling of my room with them. The ceiling was sloped on the sides because it was right under the apex of the roof. It really was like having my own personal planetarium, although I didn't bother to arrange the stars as they actually appear in the night sky.

I spent many nights reading great books, then turning off the lights and thinking over the stories under those phosphorescent stars... What bliss!

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