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I used to have a babysitter called Laura, back in the days of steam when I was still young enough to be babysat. This sappy little number about a boy who risks everything in a car race to win enough money to marry the girl he loves was her favourite song ever, and she used to get really annoyed with me when I used to giggle at it.

It wasn't the bathos of it, or the sentimentality, though goodness knows there's plenty of both in this little masterpiece -- what amused me was the total lack of logic.

Imagine the scene-- you have a man, gasping his last, in the flaming wreckage of a car. He turns to his rescuer, and, as far as I could tell from the song, bellows the words, "Tell Laura I love her".

Yeah, right.

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