There are moments in life, slices of a day, minutes in a lifetime, that make one believe that one's life could be a movie, or at least a
short-film. This is the story of one of such moments, one that makes me forget all the pain and the
ennui of daily life. This is a moment from a dead
love, when it was still young.
The best season in
Rio de Janeiro is
Autumn. The sun shines, but not too hot. The wind blows, but not too cold. It was a sunny afternoon and we had just put our clothes back on. My heart was full of things to say, pledges to make and promises to swear by. But it was not to be. You went to the record player and asked if there was anything special i'd like to hear. I answered: "You know me, surprise me" with a playful smile. And you did.
It takes the pain away
That could not make you stay
It's way to broke to fix
No glue, no bag of tricks
For weeks I had been listening to
Without You I'm Nothing on a loop. It seemed somehow appropriated for our situation and the
drama queen inside of me would not let me forget it, even for five minutes. That you would choose this song of every song you knew I loved was a painful and delicious
shock and I smiled.
Lay me down, the lie will unfurl
Lay me down to crawl
You were sitting on the computer, in the middle of your caotic play room, and I sat on your lap. We hugged and you rocked me like a child, while we both sang in very low voices "...lay me down to crawl...". The hot tears started to fill my eyes, but it was not sorrow. The sunlight in the room, the smell of dust and perfume, the song blasting on the speakers, your arms around me... it was too much beauty flooding my heart.
The song seemed to last forever, but it nevertheless ended too soon. We broke off from each other and carried on our preparations for going out. The feeling was soon gone, but it was an afternoon to remember.
The Crawl can be found on the
Without You I'm Nothing album by
Placebo.