The following events are 100% true:
Everyone has at least one memory of some amusing display of flatulence. It's simply a part of childhood. I have many, however one is prominent in my mind and the minds of those I experienced it with, and through time those who witnessed and smelled this event of monolithic proportions have simply come to know it as "The Fart".......
6th Grade. A baseball game. As those of you who are familiar with me are sure to know, I am an avid baseball player. The day was hot. The score happened to be 7-5 (we were winning) at the time. My team was up to bat with no runners on base and one out. I was eagerly cheering my team on in the dugout. I am, of course, always the annoying loudmouth of the team, and players on my team love me, while other teams would like to have me beaten with a catcher's mask and hanged from the backstop. Then it happened.....
From about halfway down the bench from where I was seated, there came a loud rumble, lasting about 5 seconds, which literally shook the bench. Everyone looked around wildly in wonder, having absolutely no idea what had just happened. Momentarily, our curiousity was assuaged followed by disgusted horror(and a minor thrill), as an earth-shattering wreek diffused throughout the dugout. It paralled sticking one's face into the seat of a port-a-poty, taking a wiff, then jumping in. The stench was unbearable, and, laughing all the way, the team cleared the dugout, holding their breath until they finally reached the fresh smell of the grass.
The game had to be put on hold as no one was allowed outside the dugout without a batting helmet on. Our coaches and the umpire reacted with annoyance when they saw our team running out of the dugout as if a nuclear bomb had gone off inside, only to become accepting and even slightly amused when they went to the threshhold of the the dugout and realized that something very near an actual nuclear bomb had gone off. After about 5 minutes, the raucous smell dissipated and we resumed the game.
Never have I experienced (I would say witness, but in this case it was an experience) the exit of gasses from the anal region of a person with such powerful force, and I believe I never will again. I mean, it literally did rock the bench. The kid who farted would nowadays be looked down upon as disgusting, but in those juveniledays he was the worship of the entire team. He claimed he had been "saving it up for four days," and when it came out of his rectum it was "painful". I'm sure I will never forget the events of that hot day in June for the duration of my life.
Thus the story of "The Fart."