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Indigent insurgency in late period America

By, MajGen. Howard Polmin

During the declining period of imperial America we see one last grasp for total world supremacy on part of the Americans. The actions taken by the nation were, with some hindsight, the actions primarily of one man and his seemingly untiring drive for his goals. The purpose of most of his actions and what we may believe to have been his goals are speculations I shall leave to the more philosophical minded. The purpose of this essay is to describe in as much detail as is available, the methodology by which such a man as Emperor Stevens came to power. The information available on American politics, or anything relating to America becomes rather muddy as soon as Emperor Stevens comes into the timeline. Rewritten histories, disinformation, and misinformation abound under his sway and as a result painting an accurate picture becomes rather difficult. What has been determined with some accuracy (“accuracy” being relative to the situation) is that Stevens rise to power was not by the will of the people but by his own doing.

America had been under the sway of a line of moderate presidents from both republican and democratic camps for quite some time. It was in this atmosphere that more reactionary and more extreme ideology’s were beginning to grab more voters. What is interesting is that from a few newspapers that were smuggled out during Stevens rule that date from that time period show that Stevens was always, if I may use such a phrase for brevity, Batshit crazy. He never presented himself as anything other than someone completely unaware of reality. The article in the newspaper in question is summarized as such; Local councilman ejected from seat on city council after “tar paper gazpacho incident.” What the incident was remains unclear, however we do establish both an interest in politics and a lack of sanity on part of Stevens. Stevens stayed under the media’s radar till approximately 2 years later during the coming election season. He attempted to run a campaign for presidency that was apparently completely unsupported by the media or any constituency. The funding for the campaign seemingly coming from multiple Dadaist groups. The reason we know of this attempt at gaining the presidency by legitimate means is because there was some media coverage that exists to this day that sighted “the most bizarre campaign ever.” We can only assume that his loss in that election year is what spurred him to his next attempt.

In the summer after his failed bid for presidency Stevens was somewhere on the west coast of America, unemployed and enraged at his loss of the seat of power. The few dignitaries that spoke with Emperor Stevens often made mention that he seemed a most pleasant and reasonable person. That it was only after the fact when they could go back over what was said did it really stand out how unreasonable the man was. We can only assume it was this charisma that led to him slowly building a larger and larger following of the homeless population of San Francisco. He would maintain the solidarity of this group by purchasing booze for them and helping find food. But what seemed a slightly misguided attempt at humanitarian aid quickly became obvious for what it was. He was building an army.

With the vast majority of San Francisco’s homeless population under his sway he moved to Oakland. His constant recruitment of homeless caused an increase in the booze requirement, which without monetary means was supported by stealing. The tactic was this: a large group of homeless would form and under Stevens rallying they would march on mass into a liquor store taking everything they could carry and simply walk out. There is little one can do when faced with 50+ deranged urine soaked men storming your store. It was on this principle that Steven's army operated.

Moving from city to city, then state to state. The homeless army growing stronger each time it stopped in an urban center. The authorities were unable to stop the flood of homeless into the towns coming as they did in a myriad of manners. Boxcars, hitchhiking, walking, every means of conveyance was utilized to create an alarmingly mobile force. They would descend on a city using their massive numbers to overwhelm the local police, and eventually military forces. Pillaging the grocery stores and liquor stores. Crushing local drug lords to supply the chemicals needed to keep the force moving. Thousands, and later millions of homeless most suffering from some sort of delusion, schizophrenia, or drug addiction formed the core of this army. Countless veterans left by the wayside of the American system who became homeless due to psychological trauma found a new calling in organizing, and running Steven's army. It took less than a year before the army had grown to its maximum proportion, its ranks filled with the insane, the disheveled and the drunk. It was then that they marched on Washington.

“the smell, that’s mostly what I remember, you could smell them coming. You can’t imagine what it was like, millions of people, unwashed and filled with booze, the haze of crack smoke in the air mixed with refry cigarette stubs picked up off the ground. And when they walked the loose change the carried clinked like armor, their cardboard signs asking for money or rides to Townville swinging in precision. At the head of the whole procession was this guy in a 3 piece suit smiling like he won the lottery, I guess that was Emperor Stevens…”

-American refugee

It was then that Stevens forced the US government to perform a recall of the election results from a year prior, and strangely the recall found that Stevens was in fact the actual winner of the election.

The lesson to be gleaned from this essay is that, any group of people, held together by a common hobby ancestry or social status are merely 1 motivating factor away from becoming a major force in their area of interest. As with most things relating to Stevens, he simply took this idea and ran with it, ran clear off the map with it in fact. If I were a religious man I would have to say that the likelihood of any of the schemes Stevens attempted succeeding, and the fact that most succeeded would require the hand of god to have been helping him along. But that strikes of the dogmatic, and the same sort of line of thought is probably what lead to so many people following him. As it stands I will have to surmise that what Stevens was possessed of was incredible strategic and tactical acumen, mixed with an incredible streak of good timing. Though the opposite may have been just as accurate, he could have just been completely insane, and completely lucky. The capricious actions he performed while in power speak to the latter, and the fact they were allowed leads me to further wonder what the lasting effects of his reign have had on our sanity as a race. If such insanity can do so much, what does sanity have going for it besides a smaller casualty rate?

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